Pikeys
Ok, perhaps not a profession but certainly a way of live and they do make a living off it.

I hate pikeys for a number of reasons. There's the obvious stuff like huge cost on my council tax for cleaning up the fly tipped rubbish and repairing the damage when they vacate the nearby car park/field that became home for a few weeks.

However the personal side of it stems from a mistake of youthful stupidity....

Back at the age of 16 a friend and I were hard up over the school summer holiday, so along comes a "builder" with a large truck* driving down his road, see's the 2 of us and offers us a days labour for £30 cash each.

Naively we accepted. We hopped up into the cab with "Paddy" and his bastard son and set off. My suspicions began when I saw the state of the truck*. It didn't take long before we worked out he was a pikey and made a mental note to be cautious. The drive to the work site was long... too long. In fact it took about an hour. When a girl waved at me through the window son of pikey seemed concerned and asked how I knew her... almost like he wanted no witnesses to future events.

We arrived in a posh neighbourhood and in what can only be described now as stereotypical we began stripping the drive of a big detached house ready to be tarmac'd the next day. I kid you not me and my mate were worked like dogs on a hot hot day, cutting and clearing overgrown bushes and pickaxing up the old drive and shovelling it onto the back of the truck*. "Fire it up there" the Paddy wanker would shout over and over.

We must have looked in a bad way as the home owner looked concerned and brought us out drinks asking if we were ok etc. Paddy made sure he intervened and pretty much kept us separated from the customer after that.

By the end of the day we were mere shells of the lads we'd been that morning. Mentally and physically drained I'd had enough. We set off on the stupidly long drive back home and then the questionning began. All sorts. Everytime a posh looking caravan went past Paddy & son would get a bit excited and coo over the plush looking lines of it.

Eventually the fateful question. "What do you think of gypsies then?" I was asked. I didn't think. I just spoke. "I fucking hate Pikeys. Absolute scum of the earth." I said. The atmosphere in the truck changed in that instance. It fell silent. After a minute Paddy spoke. "Why?".

So I told him. I layed it out about the crime, vandalism, fly tipping etc etc etc. I was still venting my disgust as we turned off the road.... into the biggest fucking gypsy camp I've ever seen.

We drove for what seemed like miles into the middle of this field. Astonishingly the tipper mechanism of the truck* didn't work and me and my mate were forced to offload about 5 tonnes of hardcore and cut down trees using 2 shovels. Obviously this was just onto the fly tipped pile of other rubbish, not some skip or anything helpful. Meanwhile Paddy had gone to "chat to his mates".

Me and my mate knew we were fucked. We could see the only gate, which we'd come through, about 500m away. Between us and the gate were about 200 angry looking Pikeys. If was wasn't already so knackered I'd have crapped myself but the fear had already stepped in and plugged my arse tight shut.

As we finished off loading the truck Paddy came over to pay us. And so started the talk. Apparantly working yourself to near death isn't working hard enough. Also we hadn't done a full days work as it was gone 9 when we were picked up and it was only 4:30 now. So we weren't getting the promised £60 between us. We were offered £20. Just £10 each. My mate took it and we were pointed toward the gate which now seemed a long long way off. We began walking and started to hear a few loud comments from some of the roughest looking teenagers I've ever seen. Considering some of the shitty North London areas I grew up in that's saying something.

After about 100m my mate says, "when I say so we're running over there and just keep up". "Go!".

We ran about 50m to the closest perimeter fence and were swiftly over it into the dense undergrowth beyond. I could hear voices beginning to give chase. I had visions of being a body found in the undergrowth 6 months down the line. Adrenaline kicked in and I put more effort into the next 5 mins than 5 years of PE lessons at school.

After a min or so we emerged scratched and dirty onto the grass verge of the A41. We legged it across the lanes of traffic fearing not for the 70mph traffic but the pikeys behind us. After a few mins we found a phone box in a residential street and decided it was first safe point. We got in and picked up the handset, just then we saw the first of the Pikey teens come into view. They stopped. We stared. What was going on? Then I realise, they don't know who we're talking to. The fact we'd not even dialled didn't matter. We could be calling the police, or local nutters, anyone.

We called a taxi. A taxi that had the very specific instructions to pick us up directly outside the phone box, only 2 of us were getting in, and not to hang about as we went. After the call we kept holding the handset and pretended to be talking, safest choice we thought.

Once the taxi arrived we were in and gone in seconds. That's when my mate checks the money we'd been paid with. He elbows me in the ribs and passes me the note. We exchange glances. It's fake.
Not sure if it was genius or luck, but my mate asks the cabby to stop at a corner shop, he legs it in and a minute later is back out with a 2 litre bottle of drink and a load of change.

We get a few miles down the road and decide we're safe enough now so the taxi drops us off. After paying him we've got about £12 left but are alive and in one piece. So we start the long walk home which took another 2 hours.

Like I said, I fucking hate Pikeys.

* a stolen tipper truck, with smashed windscreen, hotwired ignitiona and the motorway maintenance signs still on the back.



To try and settle the argument over whether Pikey is or is not the appropriate term for the persons in the story above I give you this reference:

"According to the Oxford Dictionary of Slang, pikey dates back to 1847 and means gypsy or traveller.

The word is believed to be a contraction of "turnpike" - a reference to a feature of the travelling life in years gone by."


From the English "turnpike", the place where itinerant travellers and thieves would camp near a settlement. Pikey is not a racial group, the term is used to describe anyone who lives in a caravan or shares the same values and "culture" of "the travelling community", and whose main sources of income are as follows: Stealing cars, flogging roses in pubs for "childrens' charities", nicking lead off roofs, burgling garden sheds, blagging entry to old peoples house to rob them, doing dodgy tarmac jobs ("we've got some black stuff left over from a job up the road"), sometimes with mint imperials used as a substitute for white chippings, or, reportedly, using snow to lay slabs on when the sand ran out, stealing your bollocks if they weren't in a bag and anything else that's not nailed down and anything that is nailed down but will fit in the back of an untaxed Transit when nobody's looking. Characterised by lurchers on a string, a unintelligible language that "isn't English, it isn't Irish, it's just Pikey" (source: Film: Snatch), a penchant for harecoursing, ketamine, lighter fuel, fighting in pubs and shopping at Lidl. Best avoided.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:18, 6 replies)

Wow
slightly OT but what a brilliant story, well told!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:23, closed)

Nice story.
D'you wan' a darg with tha?
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:34, closed)

I've had a lot of dealings with them over the years
and I don't care what anyone says, they're all cunts.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 27 May 2010, 13:35, closed)

Being part gypsy (Romany)
I whole-heartedly agree with you.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 27 May 2010, 13:55, closed)

I would like to buy a caravan from you.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:02, closed)

Hold on, let me find a brochure.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 27 May 2010, 14:11, closed)

Then you'd know that Romany people are not Travellers, and therefore using the perjoritive 'Pikey'
is incorrect. He should be calling them 'Theiving Gyppos'
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 27 May 2010, 15:14, closed)

You come across as the bigger cunt in all that.
You'd have probably got your £30 if you hadn't been a cock.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:00, closed)

I'm inclined to agree with this.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:05, closed)

No. Just no.
Sorry, but he could have raped a baby in the course of this story and he'd be less of a cunt than your average pikey.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:06, closed)

I concur.
Absolute shitcunts the lot of them.
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Thu 27 May 2010, 14:09, closed)

This

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:17, closed)

Really?
Raped a baby? Are you sure about that?
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:25, closed)

As long as it was a Pikey baby

( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:34, closed)

They're the worst.
They steal our jobs, or something.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:35, closed)

I think that from this we can conclude that Perry, Spaff and Vagbond have all raped babies in the past.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:34, closed)

The only reason you haven't is because they don't fancy you.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:36, closed)

Oh man, have you just called me a baby gypsy, you nonce?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:45, closed)

What are you going to do if I have, sexypants?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:47, closed)

That's true. They bascially admitted it
I bet they filmed it too and have gatherings every wednesday night to share. The sick fucks.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:36, closed)

But you're coming next week like you said, right?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:37, closed)

Hilarious.
You Nonce.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:38, closed)

You say that like it's a bad thing.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:45, closed)

So I work my arse off without break all day for half a forged £20
and I'm the cunt?
I was 16, the guy had been an utter utter cunt to both of us all day and at the point where I'd more than had enough I'm asked what I think of Pikeys. Yeah I could have lied and said "they're great", don't ever believe I'd have got my £30 though. Just like the house owner won't have got a receipt and guarantee for his driveway.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:50, closed)

Gobbing off at people is a guaranteed way to ensure you get paid.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:55, closed)

If someone asks my opinion
they get it.

However like I said earlier in the tale, it was a case of teenage stupidity. I was tired and inexperienced. When asked I just spoke. However every reason I cited as to why I hated Pikeys was immediately proven true on that gypsy site. Guess some people just don't like the hard reality of how others see them. I know I was a twat to say it, but at least he then knew how others viewed his actions too.

No regrets.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:00, closed)

Gypsies are NOT 'pikeys' you uneducated moron,
Also, you calling a traveller a pikey is a slur. You're not a traveller, you have no right to use that term. It's fucking rude, and the height of ignorance.

It still amazes me how everyone would jump on someone who used the term paki' or 'nigger', yet are perfectly find with the spewing of hatred against the travelling community. Most of you wouldn't know the first thing about them, their culture or how they live.

I'm the first to admit that not all travellers give the communities a good name, but there are shit people in every ethnic group. Generalising an entire culture by the actions of a few is apalling.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 27 May 2010, 15:13, closed)

To be fair, many "travellers" don't travel very much.
Especially once the local council's put them up in their own adobe "permanent caravan" that's built out of breezeblocks and mortar.

Also - I am a traveller. I travel every day. Anyone who travels has the right to use the term traveller.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:25, closed)

Did I say you couldn't use the word 'traveller'?
I don't think I did...

The term 'Pikey' is considered by many as a racist slur. It is NOT ok to use the word.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 27 May 2010, 15:42, closed)

Sorry - you're quite right. I got confused when you wrote
"You're not a traveller, you have no right to use that term."

I don't see how travelling is a race, though - a bit like Judaism.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:53, closed)

stealth editing you've done there
As you did say it.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:16, closed)

When you say 'by many'
I presume you mean by you, and by pikeys. Neither of whose opinion I care about.

Fuck pikeys - jobless chancers with zero respect for other people's property. As for it being 'racist' - the term comes from the tendency of certain unspecified social/economic groups to aggregate at turnpikes. Which makes it... locationist? I don't think they actually evolved into a separate race while they were there...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 27 May 2010, 20:10, closed)

And pikeys are not gypsies.
Romanies, all fine and good. I restrict the word pikey to the criminal elements of the Irish Traveller community, who the OP was clearly dealing with.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 27 May 2010, 15:26, closed)

What evidence do you have here, beyond the fake £20?
The fake £20 note that the OP and his mate knowingly passed into circulation?

Seems that this is a bit like the pot calling the kettle black to me.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 27 May 2010, 15:40, closed)

Ok... evidence.
Can't believe I'm doing this, but oh well.

1. Irish accent, so evidently a member of the Irish Travelling community.
2. A Highway Maintenance truck knackered to the point of evidently being stolen.
3. A large campsite (the size of the campsite, or the fact it is a campsite, is not the important thing here) which judging by the OP's description was to put it diplomatically was not in the best of condition. Other Travellers I've known in the past tend to be clean, responsible individuals, with caravans where you'd be happy enough to eat your dinner off the floor without a plate.
4. Actually tarmacking someone's driveway
5. Fly tipping.
6. Passing fake money.

Seems pretty bloody obvious that they are pikeys. Although I agree with you on the point that the OP shouldn't have done what he did with the fake £20 mind.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 27 May 2010, 16:01, closed)

Spot on
Plus when I use the term "camp site" what I actually mean is council owned green belt land that was empty the week before.

You also forgot aggressive intimidating and threatening behaviour.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:07, closed)

You do actually understand that other than the fly-tipping and the fake £20
(which frankly after his outburst in the van, the OP deserved)
nothing you have said in that post is actually illegal?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 27 May 2010, 16:07, closed)

I mean really - is having an Irish accent evidence of being a criminal?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 27 May 2010, 16:08, closed)

nothing illegal
Ok perhaps I glossed over a few points:

- Stolen vehicle (theft)
- Unroadworthy condition (motoring offence)
- Both of which would imply uninsured to drive (motoring offence)
- Most likely no employers liability insurance (lol).
- Above would imply tax avoidance
- Threatening behaviour and intimidation.
- squatting on public land
- destruction of public property


So you're right ASIDE from fly tipping, forgery and theft the guy was probably squeeky clean. Still a Pikey though.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:12, closed)

Where's your evidence beyond your own assumption?
As for the threatening behaviour - you fucking deserved it. If you hadn't have been such an arrogant little arsehole, then you wouldn't have had trouble.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 27 May 2010, 16:37, closed)

your assumptions too
now you're the one making assumptions.

The threatening behaviour was long before I said anything, it was prolonged and throughout the day.

As for other evidence, well you're right the truck might not have been stolen. I've just never hot wired my own vehicle, smashed it's windscreen and left motorway maintenance stickers with another companies name on the back for fun.

The condition on the vehicle made it unroadworthy, you don't need evidence for that it was obvious. That's illegal on it's own.

The home owner was clearly never going to be paying for the work with a cheque which would also imply (but granted not prove) the Pikey wasn't paying tax on it. (Just for the record, as I was 16 at the time and in full time education I was tax exempt for my £10 of earnings).

The stuff in the truck was dumped on top of the previous days load, so there was the evidence he'd already been fly tipping.

Now how about you get over it and just accept that as described the "pikey" mentioned in the OP clearly was a criminal through the masses of evidence I was privy to of varying broken laws.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:03, closed)

Good God.
You're either shit-stirring or being completely blockheaded. Golddust covers it all in the post above.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 27 May 2010, 16:23, closed)

Block headed? Me?
Sorry, but all I see is ASSUMPTION.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 27 May 2010, 16:36, closed)

Yes, you.
Blockheaded. You're missing out three quarters of the original post just because you don't like the use of the word pikey. Pikey pikey pikey (don't like the use of the word? I'm sure there is a firefox bookmarklet that will make things all better for you). And then when the OP attempted to back up his points, and admitted his shortcomings on how he dealt with it, you chose to ignore it, and just made the same points, over and over again, without listening to what was being said. As many a /talker has said in the past, get over yourself (good luck with that), and remember it's just pixels on a screen. If you don't like it, hit the hide or ignore button. It's not rocket science.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 27 May 2010, 16:42, closed)

yes, blockheaded.
I've said my piece. Described him as I saw fit and backed it up with facts.

Get over the name calling.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:05, closed)

Fake note
You're both right on that one though. I don't think we should have used the fake note.

However under the alternatives we had no money whatsoever and would have been dropped off right by the large gang of Pikeys intent on hurting us if the taxi driver knew we had no real cash.

That one was an act of desperation.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 16:21, closed)

Who gives a fuck what they are?
Thieving scum is all we need to know.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:29, closed)

I'm not a football hooligan or chav vandal
but I've still been bundled into the same labelled group as them by persons of other ethnic groups based on simple assumptions like my skin colour or clothing. Likewise to me people who live in caravans, commit crime and squat on public land are Pikeys.

Point is if people of one culture do a lot to alienate or upset persons outside that group, they get labelled and persons or groups similar or sympathetic to them often get tarred with the same brush.

You're right there is a distinction between travellers and gypsies, also not all travellers are bad people. It's just that I, nor anyone I know or have spoken to, have EVER met a nice "traveller".

I'm always willing to change my opinion, but the story above is one based on personal experience. Likewise, where I've grown up, people who squat in caravans on public land are called Pikeys. OK, you and others may know them by different names, to me they're Pikeys.

Sorry if you don't like it.


There's an old fella in my town, he lives in a traditional wooden caravan, has a shire horse and plays a violin in town busking for money. To me he's a gyspy. He lives in a Gypsy caravan. He and I say hello whenever he's there and he's a nice bloke. He's not a Pikey. Nor has he ever tried to knife me or steal my wallet. See, I understand the difference between gypsies and Pikeys.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:31, closed)

Oh you're a chav are you?
That explains a lot. Sorry. Couldn't resist. But within the travelling community the word pikey can be quite insulting if misapplied. However based on your original description of the people involved, it seems like you hit the nail on the head.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 27 May 2010, 15:34, closed)

lol, no worries!
But illustrates the point. White, sports clothing, likes a drink. I wouldn't blame someone for using the term about me although I know I'm not one.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:36, closed)

That's the thing.
I don't apply the the stereotype to the physical description. More the attitude. Most people I see dressed as you describe I mentally file under "human". Seems easier somehow.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 27 May 2010, 15:39, closed)

*facepalms*

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 27 May 2010, 15:41, closed)

this
pigeonsnest.co.uk/stuff/photos/misc/the-thieving-gypsy-bastards-small.png
(unclestinky, Thu 27 May 2010, 19:47, closed)