Keep reptiles
I keep several reptiles, one of which is a lovely Mexican Black Kingsnake, having that in my hand while approaching a bailiff who practically forced himself past weedy little me was a brilliant way to stop him.
My passport and 6 week old tenancy agreement said that I WASN'T Mr V.Psrtskevtyorl (something like that anyway.)

Ninj edit
Have a quick googleimage search for "mexi black kingsnake" and you'll see how eveil they look to people that don't know their snakes.
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Thu 27 May 2010, 18:19, 1 reply)

Yep
that looks like a fucking evil snake.
(Rsoles, Thu 27 May 2010, 20:10, closed)

A 'fucking evil snake'
sounds like a bailiff!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 28 May 2010, 9:13, closed)