Telemarketers
True Story:

Somewhere about 1998, I was living in the Albany, NY area. Small metro area, a couple of small cities (Albany, Troy, Saratoga, Schenectady). Now each of these burgs has its own newspaper. In such an area, it is a fierce business, as each subscription means a lot than say, the New York Times.

(wavy lines)

One evening at approximately 8:30, I received a cold call from a telemarketer, from the Troy Record, asking if I would like to get the daily paper delivered for a low low price.

I was polite, No, I appreicate it, no thanks.

Most people would say thanks... and hang up.

Not this guy.

Well you know sir, The Record has the best sports section in the region...

Still Im not biting, I'm sure it does... Sorry not interested.

Well Sir, did you know that the Sunday Record has over $100 in coupon Savings?

Thats great, but still Im not interested..

Sir, did you know that the subcription to the Record can be yours for the low price of (some really ridiculous price).

Sorry I'm not interesteed.

Sir how Can i get you to subscribe?

I said you cant.

(Cue drumroll)

Why not?

Cause Im blind, and I cannot read the paper.

Dead silence, and I never had another telemarketer for a newspaper while I lived there again.

(For the record, Im not blind, but it was a lot of fun screwing with the telemarketer).
(Subway Riding the rails underground, Sat 29 May 2010, 3:16, 5 replies)

Awesome
Heard a similar story (may have been on here in a back qotw) where the cold caller phones up, clearly Indian and introduces himself as Dave Spencer. He has a whole booklet to get through and the guy just lets him, each time saying, "I'm sorry, I don't need double glazing, I have no windows because I'm blind" or "I don't need car insurance...etc".

At the end, the cold caller says, "I'm sorry, but you aren't really blind, are you?"

Guy responds with, "Well, you're not really called Dave Spencer".
(satanstolemyteddybear Mu hõljuk on angerjaid täis, Sun 30 May 2010, 10:31, closed)

I just tell them the previous owner is dead and there's now a Mr P. Stringfellow living here who's had the house all done up. The number of calls I now get for a Mr Stringfellow is brilliant! :)

"I'm sorry, Mr Stringfellow's not in just now, I'm his housekeeper. I'll let him know you phoned!" :D
(WeeJen, Mon 31 May 2010, 10:16, closed)

Not a bad idea
how long will it take them to stop calling though?
(Subway Riding the rails underground, Mon 31 May 2010, 12:52, closed)

here's how you deal with telemarketers
"hello, would you like to buy our product"
"no thank you"
then you hang up and go about your day, it's not difficult, it's not rocket science, all it takes is the press of a button

Actually, I often prefer this approach
"hello, would you like to buy"*click*
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Sun 30 May 2010, 11:27, closed)

True
But still, they'll keep calling back.
(Subway Riding the rails underground, Sun 30 May 2010, 18:15, closed)