Sales staff, but only of a particular type.
A couple of years ago, Mrs Sandettie and I went into Comet to buy a few appliances for our new kitchen. As we entered, a young smarmy sales bloke (SSB) came over rather too eagerly for my liking.

"Can I be of assistance?" asked SSB.
"Just looking at a few appliances" I replied.
"Ok, let me know if you need anything" and rather than fuck off, he tailed us around the store. He approached a couple of times and asked if we'd seen anything we liked, but then retreated again. He continued to follow us. Not too close, but a presence all the same. It felt like we were under surveillance; by a stalker with a bathroom full of 'surfer hair' product and too much Lynx Africa.

"He's beginning to really piss me off big time" I said.
"Me too. I know, we'll lead him about." my wife replied. So we led him up and down aisles around the store like a ghost in a sedate game of PacMan.

He got fed up after maybe ten mins and went and stood at a distance keeping us in his line of sight, shifting position to make sure he could still see us. I saw a woman approach him with a toaster/kettle box set and he practically shooed them away.

We went to look at the various fridge freezers with the water dispensers on the front. A short, unassuming guy who must have been close to retirement strolled over as I opened the door of one particularly nice LG.
"That's one of those with a reservoir that you fill with a jug. I got one, they're a pain. You get bored of filling it up all the time, the novelty wears off and it doesn't get used. If you have a cold water pipe nearby get one you can plumb in. This Samsung's nice." he pointed one out. "Plumbed in, you get a constant feed and this model is £100 cheaper"
I warmed to this guy. I could see SSB in the background and he didn't look happy. He took a step closer and then stayed where he was.
"We aren't making a decision yet, but there's a range cooker we want and you actually sell it here too" my wife said. After a few more minutes of small talk and chit-chat, we left.

The next day we went back. SSB clocked us and begin to wander over. As he did, a manager-looking guy was nearby so I collared him.
"Is Ted in today" as that was the old guy's name. I could see SSB lingering in the background.
"No, he's not in today, he'll be back in tomorrow though" the manager replied.
"Ahh, ok" I replied "We'll come back then". We left.

Next day we were back again. SSB saw us again and started walking over.
"He's seen us" I said.
"Quick, there's Ted" said Mrs Sandettie and we strode over to him. "Hello again, it's us. I think we've made a decision."
"Ah yes" he replied and I shook his hand making sure SSB could see.
"We'll take the Samsung fridge-freezer, the range cooker over there and we'd like that dish washer."
"Are we not getting the microwave today?" asked my missus.
"Any in particularly?" asked Ted. We pointed one out, not a flash one because we knew it wouldn't get used much.
"Hang on then" and he wandered off. He came back a few minutes later. "I had a word with my boss, told him what you were buying and he said you can have the microwave for nothing. I aren't going to bother trying to sell you the extended warranty unless you really want one. Tell you what, I'll throw in a couple of boxes of these dishwasher tablets as well." Those must be £8 a box alone.

He took us over to the till, we paid, arranged a delivery, said thanks to Ted and left. We went past SSB on our way to the door.
"You should've asked me yesterday when you came in. You could've had the stuff delivered on the Friday instead of having to wait until the Monday. Did you take out our extended warranty."
"Nope." I replied
"It would be wise, these things break down"
"No. If anything does break we'll sort it out ourselves." and we left him to be crestfallen to himself.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:54, 5 replies)

You should have wanked into his hair.
While your missus set fire to his balls.

It's the only way they learn.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 11:08, closed)

You can't spot them now
Until they make their move. 10 - 15 years ago, you could see them a mile off with their white socks and sovereign rings.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 11:12, closed)

He's dead right about the fridge.
I've got that LG one (or at least one like it), got bored of the dispenser, didn't use it for 2 years and it's just taken me half a day to sterilize the fucker as I'm selling it as part of the house contents and I don't want to poison the new owners with their spore-infested lovely cool fresh water ....

Lesson learnt. Does look cool, though....
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 11:56, closed)

"So we led him up and down aisles around the store like a ghost in a sedate game of PacMan."
I feel your pain as I had a similar experience when buying appliances for my new house, but you get a clicky for this line alone.
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 21:12, closed)

Clicked!
Ace story, Ted sounds like my kind of salesman. Why these young buggers can't take a leaf out of his book is beyond me; I know I always listen to the guy who's been there the longest when I start a new job.
(ElGranto, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 23:03, closed)