First time lovelyness...
Hello hello.
The first time me and Miss Thunderwulf consummated our relationship we were in a corn field at about 10pm, on a lovely clear night, with a band playing shit metal beautiful music about a quarter of a mile away.
Her band had just performed, and I'd completely fallen in love with her voice, powerful yet angelic.
We walked off, hand in hand, until eventually the grubby stoners petered out and we found ourselves alone.
Natural urges inevitably took over (close up on camera two please, soft focus).
After we'd both "ooh"ed, "aah"ed and "nng"ed to a sweaty, breathless conclusion, we rolled onto our backs and laid arm-in-arm, looking at the starlit sky.
Incredibly, there was some kind of meteor shower, and we spent five or ten minutes watching shooting stars fly before our eyes, wonderfully happy, realising and declaring our love for one another.
Then we stood up and discovered we were covered in slugs and spiders.
Al fresco rutting: good if you like bugs, horrifying if you don't.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 11:07, 2 replies)

ewwww
slugs. Thats always put me off outdoors fornications, the prospect of those slimy little fuckers.

And the slugs.


Should never have read James Herbert when impressionable
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 11:10, closed)

was it not...
... Shaun Hutson that wrote Slugs?

Surely James Herbert is the Rats fella?
(Rotimer was micturating windward at, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 14:23, closed)