In April 2004...
...me a few of my friends decided that going abroad on big group holidays was just 'too normal' so decided to rent out a massive farm house in Cornwall for a week and road trip it up in 3 cars from the other side of the country, as you do.

Suitably fuelled on about 20 cans of red bull, my boyfriend at the time lead the convoy doing an average speed of about 100mph and only slowed down to open more cans of red bull. By the time we arrived he was so jittery he actually couldn't sit down so a few of the group decided to go on a wander and see how far away the beach was from the house.
I should mention at this point that 12 out of the 15 people at the house were coupled up, two of which (my lovely friend Rob and his girlfriend Jess) had only been together about a fortnight and were in a highly frisky mood so even before we starting walking they had already made plans to sneak off for a little bit of alfresco nookie.

As we wandered along the narrow path we noticed that the pair were dragging their feet and eventually we lost sight of them all together, we all had a good chuckle about what they were up to and continued along the path - It was then we came upon the birdwatchers. A group of about 6 thermos-carrying, stupid-hat-wearing, binoculared , bespecced birdwatchers were hovering around a farm gate with an air of anticipation. My ex enquired as to what they were hanging around a gate for and they explained that the previous week one of their club members had witnessed some rare bird hanging around so they had all come along for a gander.

I couldn't help but notice that they were looking in the direction we had all just walked from and as I was contemplating this I was brought back to reality with an ear-piercing scream... turned out they had witnessed an altogether different kind of rarity, a ‘white-rumped-Rob' porking a ‘lesser-spotted-Jess' up against a tree... ah memories.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 24 Apr 2009, 13:36, 1 reply)

Ha
Click for "‘white-rumped-Rob' porking a ‘lesser-spotted-Jess'"
( ejlflop errrrrgs. Regularly., Fri 24 Apr 2009, 23:24, closed)