Up against a gate
Oh my oh my, how many times have we been caught in publc? Well this was one of the most amusing...

We'd spent the weekend with my sister and husband and been sooooo well behaved but were both gagging for it. The small chance of walking my sister's bull terrier came around and like a shot we volunteered. Now I need to state that we're two guys, big, tattooed, shaved heads and at the time looked like two members of the National Front about to kick off and cause a riot. So there's me, 6ft tall Hando (that's the guy from Romper Stomper) look-alikee walking along with this daft as f*ck bull terrier with my boyfriend who's jsut a smaller version of me into the fields when lust got the better of both of us and the dog gets tied to a gate and we get down to it.
Bf has his jeans round his ankles, head through a five bar gate and a bottle of poppers rammed up his nose by yours truly while I get down (or is it up?) to business in no uncertain terms and am away with the fairies (good choice of phrase there!) when I suddenly realise that I'm humping thin air. I turn round and there are this middle aged couple with a small yappy dog, standing wide-eyed and open-mouthed looking at this skinhead in bleached jeans, doc marten boots with his knob sticking up to the sky about 10 foot from them, panting like he's run the 100metre sprint in record time. Boyfriend has done a runner into the long grass in the field next to us. Now I've never seen wrinkly people turn and run like they did. I mean it's one thing catching a couple at it but two skinheads going at it hell for leather is another. They disappeared like someone had put fireworks up their arses. At least they would have had something interesting to talk about at their dinner party with their nice friends that night. Funnily enough my sister had guessed exactly what we were up to and asked if anything "happened" while we were out. I denied everything and didn't tell her exactly what happened until several years later.

2xtrouble (cos we're always in it)
(doubletrouble, Fri 24 Apr 2009, 21:09, 1 reply)

You could have
..just waved and shouted "It's all right, we're with the Tom of Finland Re-enactment Society!".

have a click
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sat 25 Apr 2009, 0:20, closed)