I absolutely hang my head in shame...
The WORST place I've had public sex is.......a Little Chef car park. If this wasn't bad enough, it was just after lunch time on a Saturday.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the police pulled in. I'd already seen them coming (and I just had) so we quickly disengaged. Still, one stroppy looking bobby decided to have a talk with me.

I got out of my Vauxhall Astra* and walked over to meet him. "You know what you've done wrong" he said "have you got any ID?".

I knew I didn't have my paper driving licence as I'd sent it away to have some spent points removed. I searched my wallet. I knew bank card was no good, nor was my work ID I had nothing apart from one thing...

My Special Constable warrant card.**

I showed it too him with a look of shame upon my face. He looked at my card. He looked at me. He looked at my card. He called over the other bobby sitting in the car. He looked at me. He looked at my card. I gave a very cheesy grin. "Pillock" the first one said. "Just as well you're not based at our nick" said the other. "Besides, I thought you lot preferred sheep" said the first and giggled.

They let me on my way.

The part I'm most ashamed of? Shagging in a Little Chef car park, it's just so....common (but then, so was she)!

* Always get out of your car if pulled over by the police. Unless they're screaming "Keep your hand on the f*cking wheel" of course. They like the respect and more to the point, police don't enjoy walking when THEY have a nice comfy car you can sit in.

** I know it sounds nerdy to keep it in my wallet when I wasn't on duty, but it was great for free bus/train travel, discounts at various stores and getting out of light trouble, as you can see above!
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:08, 4 replies)

hee hee
jammy sod !
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:28, closed)

It also worked for...
3 possible speeding tickets and the best one, in my opinion, was for going through an amber light. She pulled me over and said "You just jumped through that amber", me, being experienced, said "Yes, but the road was damp and I didn't feel it was safe to break heavily". She said "If you weren't accelerating towards the amber, you wouldn't have had to break heavily". One cheesy grin, one introduction, one warrant card later and I'm free!

On a none 'getting away with things' note, it did also let me help a 6 year old girl who'd lost her mum in my local town centre, without the worry of being accused of trying to snatch her.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:39, closed)

Hmmm
She pulled you over for going through an amber light? Perfectly within your rights, accelerating or not, "if the amber light appears you may go on only if you have already crossed the stop line or are so close to it that to stop might cause a collision."

Tsk.
( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:28, closed)

Correct
(hence my 'road was damp, didn't feel it was safe to break heavily' excuse). But she was absolutely right in stopping me. It changed to amber whilst I was quite some distance away, I knew this particular set of lights took ages to change, so I put my foot down to get through whilst it was still amber (was almost certainly red by the time I'd completed my crossing).

I was wrong, she was right. If she'd been on a shout coming across the crossroads I was crossing, she quite possibly would have hit me (according to her). However I did say that there was a fair chance I would have heard her siren, assuming she had it on.

I'm on her side.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:54, closed)