erection misfuntion
in Liverpool city centre and because of parking issues I would frequently use the local train service - Merseyrail (or misery rail as its better known)

I remember this one time returning home, when I noticed the train had stopped at a station for a little longer than usual. Then the customary ‘we apologise for the inconvenience’ speech came across the speaker system. We were told we could take any replacement bus using our train ticket.

So I leave the station, and luckily there is a bus depot right next door – in Hamilton square. Its about 6:30am, and I discover the only bus service going to my destination starts at this depot, so I would have to endure a massive detour of a bus journey to get to my stop. Literally, my stop was about 3 stops from the other depot. A bus journey of about 90 minutes lay ahead.

So I begrudgingly get on the bus as it arrives, and take a seat right at the back where I could stretch my legs out…

The bus journey was actually quite nice and I found myself driving through areas I either hadn’t seen before or hadn’t visited very often recently. But then the tiredness kicked in. As it had been my first night shift, it meant I had been awake for about 24 hrs, my eyes were rolling, and with the gentle rocking of the driving I noticed my eyes were staying closed for longer and longer when I blinked.

The next thing I knew I was awoken going over a speed bump going through an estate an hour into my journey with just a short way to go. I had fallen asleep. Shit! I had drool falling down my left cheek, and felt very creased, I could even taste morning breath. My eyes were very dry and as I yawned and stretched I looked around me…

There was a distinct ‘atomsphere’ where I was sitting…I couldn’t work out what was causing it, then I felt it… and saw it… I was in sporting a huge erection, which through the soft fabric of Suit trousers was plane to see… fekking Morning glory!!

What made it even worse was the five school children all smartly dressed to the side of me staring… I slowly picked up my bag,put it on my lap and pretended to search for something inside. I wasn’t even turned on, I was frantically trying to think of none sexy thoughts. It was no use – it just wouldn’t go. Infact after about 10 mintues it started to ache.

And so I had to endure another 20 minutes of holding the bag on my lap, then trying to ‘tuck it under my belt’ as I got off the bus.

I decided not to use buses from then on.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Thu 29 May 2008, 16:05, 1 reply)

Why is it called morning wood? it should be called just-woke-up-wood.
I know exactly what you mean, i done nearly the same thing about a week ago when I fell asleep at the doctors, I don't think anyone noticed, but i only woke up about a millionth of a second before i got called.
Having no bag or anything made it hard* to hide, but being in a doctors I just had a very strange stooped walk to docs room, which was obviously why i was there.

*no punnage intended
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Fri 30 May 2008, 4:17, closed)