Selfish suicides
My sister is an engineer on the Underground and we got very shitty looks from all and sundry after the news of a man jumping in front of the train was announced as a reason for a delay.

“Selfish git,” she said. “Why couldn’t he have stuck his head in the oven like anyone else?”

Amazingly for the Underground, where most people would rather pull their own nails out than actually talk to someone, some bloke admonished her for this comment. Bad move. My sister is hard as nails and takes zero shit from anyone – even Chuck Norris would slink away from her with his tail between his legs if he’d aroused her ire.

She pointed out to this guy that over half of all train drivers can’t face driving a train ever again after driving over someone. They don’t get a big pay out, despite what crap British cinema suggests, and it costs a fortune in therapy to sort them out afterwards, and a small percentage take their own lives out of guilt at failing to get the brakes on in time.

Add to that the poor bastards who have to clean up after a jumper. She’s had to do this job herself on occasion and it’s foul in the extreme. The trains typically cut through the legs and chest cavity, so not only are there plenty of parts to pick up but the internal organs go everywhere. Unwinding lengths of shit-filled intestine of the axles of the train makes most ‘tough’ jobs look about as bad as being Alyson Hannigan’s mimsy waxer.

Plus everyone else gets delayed.

She finished this explanation and left the poor sod gibbering apologies. It was one of my best trips on public transport, but one of his worst.
(paxvobiscum, Thu 29 May 2008, 17:12, 2 replies)

Evilscary
got it in one. That was my favourite phrase too!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 May 2008, 17:33, closed)