Public Transport TraumaCompletely Underwhelmed writes, "I was on a bus the other day when a man got on wearing shorts, over what looked like greeny grey leggings. Then the stench hit me. The 'leggings' were a mass of open wounds, crusted with greenish solidified pus that flaked off in bits as he moved."
What's the worst public transport experience you've ever had?
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chthonic, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:13)
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On his way to Wimbledon commonAs I have mentioned in a previous QOTW, before I was the legal age to work in a pub I used to work at Meadowhell selling cookies to moronic prats who decided to do nothing better than spend every single weekend hanging around the place.
Anywhoo I used to get the train into work and as it is with all trains in the region they were usually decrepid, any repairs were done with a mixture of chewing gum and crackerbread.There was an exception though as a few times a day there was the Barnsley to London train. The London one was well kept and didn't smell of a mixture of piss, Lynx deoderant and Mad Dog 20/ 20. Why a london service ever came to Barnsley was always a mystery to me as most people that live in the Barnsley class anyone who dosent live in their village a foreigner.
One day I managed to get into the station and make it to the London one and settled myself down across from a couple of Barnsleys finest (The kind of person that has an accent so regional only people that live on the same side of the street as them would understand what they were on about, I was sure that they must have stored their flat cap and whippett somewhere because that was all they were lacking).
As the train pulled into the first station (Wombwell) the train driver or conductor (Whoever uses the tannoy ) announced "Ladies and gentlemen we have arrived in Womble" and cut the mike off just as he started to piss himself laughing. The two Barnsley blokes opposite took offence of this (and I quote) Southern Poof laughing at something he knew nothing about (it should have been pronounced wum well) and wether to go sort him out.
I however had buried my head in my hands laughing. I wasnt laughing at the two locals who were having the "Barnsley Vs the world" rant (a typical thing that happens around here with the more chavvy barnsleyites), I was laughing at the person getting on the train dressed in an Orinoco costume (I don't know my Wombles, but he was dressed as the one with the red hat).
Made my day that did.
(, Fri 30 May 2008, 11:49, Reply)
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