Bus flood.
Coming back from a rather dull day at the coast with a couple of mates, the last leg of our journey was a half-hour bus ride home from town. Being teenagers, we seated ourselves in the obligatory 'upstairs at the back' area. We were joined within a couple of stops by two or three inebriated chav-ettes of the lowest order.

One friend, Danny, who would basically try it on with anything slightly warm (pulse preferred) started to make inroads with a screeching harpie but was interrupted by her announcement to the entire bus (double decker, Saturday afternoon, 3/4 full) that she was "Proper dying for a piss, man!"

Even then, I was quite the gentleman so I turned away as she stretched her knickers aside and squatted between the seats. What followed was not the discreet tinkle I has naively expected to endure, more a torrent of second hand Bellabruscobrini. Probably the jumbo 3-litre bottle. The spattering noise emitted as the urine streamed to the floor joined forces with the pungent aroma of boozy evaporated piss to leave no passenger in any doubt as to what had occurred.

The piece-de-resistance came only a few minutes later when the bus began to descend a long and fairly steep hill. Thankfully the convex shape of the bus floor contained the fluid on the opposide side of the aisle to which I was seated. I watched as all of the passengers on that side had their feet splashed by the torrent, nay the rivulet of urine that sloshed back and forth (complete with splishy-splashy sound effects) on the deck for the remainder of our journey.

It was with deep shame that I observed Danny take the occurence as a minor setback and continue his charm offensive on the increasingly uncoordinated, piss-spattered, disgrace of a girl.

Length? About 40 feet, I think.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:03, 5 replies)

Hmm...
Classy stuff...
( Cawl, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:07, closed)

indeed
I call into question your use of words though

"torrent nay rivulet" in particular

rivulet implies small, torrent large, so "rivulet, nay torrent" would be better
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:10, closed)

vipros
I was trying to convey the motion of a body of liquid taking an initial surge, but thinning over a short distance as (eventually) the source is depleted.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:40, closed)

fair enough
difficult to convey I appreciate

perhaps a diagram?

:-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:41, closed)

Lordy...
Erm, that's all I can think of to say actually.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 May 2008, 13:55, closed)