Still makes me smile..
Picture the scene, I was a young(er) Agnostic, travelling home from school on the double decker bus, seated next to the stairs.

As is custom, with everyone that came up the stairs, I gave a quick glance, to see if I knew them. I've always done this, never had a problem before or since. One day I looked, and the lad on his way up the stairs took offence to my doing this.

"What da fuck are yuw lookin at?"
Stoically, I ignored him.
"I sed, what da fuck are yuw looking at?!"
Once again, I ignored him.

This goes on for about 30 seconds in which he calls me all the names under the sun, tells me who he is, and how he's going to batter me. Now beyond my initial glance, I haven't even looked at him. When he starts going on about how much of a slut my mother must be (see b3ta.com/questions/deadbodies/post124665 for why that might annoy me)

It's at this point I start laughing. A lot. This lad who is trying to look all 'ard is only about an inch taller stood up than I am sat down. Now this he really doesn't like, and proceeds to give me what he referred to as a 'forearm', I'd call it more a tickle. He then swaggers off to sit with the other mouth breathing pricks (who hate me) at the back of the bus, all cheering him.

I just keep my eyes forward, still sniggering over his tinyness (I don't do confrontation). 4 stops later, 1 before mine, he gets up to get off, ringing every bell on his way to the stairs, thinking he's funny. As he reaches me, he takes a swing for my head, connecting with the back, hurting his hand a good deal more than my head. He then goes to swagger down the stairs, yelling obscenities.

I decided to help him down the stairs with my right foot. From the noise at the bottom of the stairs, he fell into someone who didn't like that fact, and decided to remove him from the bus pulling by the sideburn. All that we could hear was a squealing, and then the doors shutting, and the little shit shouting at the unknown remover.

It later turned out he was telling me who he was, to try and get respect. He's from what would often be referred to as a nasty family, only slightly worse. His father was currently serving jail time for armed robbery, his sister was pregnant with her third child (at the age of 19), and he had been expelled from 2 schools by the age of 8. How did I find this out, I hear you b3tans cry?

His uncle owns the burger van we often frequent when we're in the area. Is a cracking guy, and happily tells us about the family that refused to talk to him after he went straight.

Bloody hell, that's an essay and a half!

Length? About 8 stairs
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 May 2008, 13:52, 1 reply)

*applause*
Glad he got the "respect" he deserved - well done there!
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 30 May 2008, 15:34, closed)