Easyjetters
Im suprised I havnt seen any posts about this type of person before.

For our friends at the other side of the pond.. Easyjet is a no frills airline, offering cheap travel around europe. They dont do seat allocations on check in. More boarding groups.

What amuses me about easyjet is Speedy Boarding. Be the first to sit on the aircraft!! Woo hoo! Does that mean youre going to get to your destination any quicker? Nope! Then there is speedy boarding plus! Which allows you to go to a special check in desk with no queue! Woo hoo! Once again, am I going to arrive in Spain any quicker to start my holiday in the sun? No. What on earth posesses people to spend the extra on this?

Then of course youve got Boarding group A. Those sad fuckwits that turned up at the airport 3 hours early for a 3 hour flight. Then Boarding Group B, the majority of the plane. And then Boarding group C. The late checkins and retards who managed to miss their flight.

So sat in departure lounge. Special Assistance is called.. And half of boarding group B get up. Trying to push infront of wheelchairs and pushchairs. They then hang around right next to the door ready to get in there first. Finally we're boarding and people are literally running through the air tunnel to make sure they get those emergency exit seats with the extra leg room like their life depended on it.

Its carnage.

After landing people are just as eager to get off the plane as on it. Only to be stood in the immigration queue with the other 5 flights that just landed. And then to be stood waiting for the bags to come through. So all that expensive speedy boarding shite or pushing around and generally being a cunt gets you no where does it.

And last time i flew with easyjet I prooved it. I turned up at the airport about 5 minutes before my checkin was due to close. As everyone was checked in, i walked straight up to the checkin counter and checked in straight away with no clue. By the time i had a coffee and perused a couple of shops. They were calling boarding. So i went for a big long shit and read the paper.

I finally walks on the plane as they were threatening to close the gate, and the moment I stepped on they're closing the door and checking everyones got seatbelts on. Next minute we're off into the big blue.

After we landed, I got up to let those at the side of me out, then sat back down. Sent some texts as everyone pushing and shoving and getting pissed off with those who are taking too long to get their overhead bags down. Eventually as the plane was practically empty. I got up and wandered off to the airport. Straight through passport, to luggage hall and what did I see coming off? My bag! Last on, first off :) Grabbed it and left the speedy boarders waiting. Fuck you speedy boarders!

Length - Well I spent less time on a plane and in the airport than anyone else. (Of course you have to time this to perfection at risk of missing your flight)
(Miggyman, Fri 30 May 2008, 21:54, 9 replies)

I wholeheartedly agree
with the exception of two things:

1) if I travel with current-ex. He is 6'6 and can't fit his legs into the standard seats, hence the running for the exit row.

2) Checked baggage? Who travels with checked baggage? Hand luggage only - the true path!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 May 2008, 22:03, closed)

Those exit rows should be reserved for those that need them.
Im about 5 9/10 and although the normal seats arent great, im not sat crushed up to them, and its not totally unpleasent. So at the mere joy of slightly more movement some poor fuckers getting crushed.
(Miggyman, Fri 30 May 2008, 22:05, closed)

Bravo
We've got the same thing over here, it's called "Southwest Airlines" which SHOULD be changed to "SouthWORST."

And on Southwest, you can actually check in for your flight the night before. So that reserves you a spot in the "A" boarding group. Or "B" if you are drinking and you forget to check in that way. :]
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 30 May 2008, 22:12, closed)

Yup
On one trip, before they started the boarding group thingy and just went by boarding pass number, I was no. 20 or whatever. (I'm not a saddo - it was a business trip. The meeting had finished early, hence I got to the airport, dumped the car, checked in then partook of a delightful gourmet meal in the concourse).

The first group was called. That included me. Only the flight had been delayed a wee bit, so the proletariat were restless and apparently had decided en masse that normal rules no longer applied. I noticed that the woman standing next to me had pass no. 148 or whatever. I turned to her and said something to the effect of, "Last time I looked, 148 wasn't between 1 and 30".

Silly cow looked a bit sheepish, but said nothing and ignored me.

I rarely fly EasyJet now. I was in Munich a couple of weeks back and went by KLM, even though it meant a change at Schiphol rather than going direct from Edinburgh. It was only a few pounds more expensive too, and we got allocated seats, some free food and fewer chavs.

I wasn't paying for it, but even if I had been, I'd have paid the extra.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 May 2008, 22:22, closed)

speedy boarding...
is particularly funny when there's a bus to the plane. Speedy boarders get to get on the bus first. Canny types in group B who stand by the bus doors get on the plane first.

Last time I flew EasyJet I checked in so last-minute that my bag came off labelled EZY1234 LAST BAG. Perfect timing.
(miffytherabbit, Fri 30 May 2008, 22:39, closed)

Well...
I once flew to Berlin and back again with Easyjet.

Check-in was simple, as was boarding, and there were no problems with the flight.

People who fly on Easyjet don't seem to understand that the back few rows are often fairly empty due to everyone being an impatient bugger and wanting to get off first, so myself and a friend had three seats between us. Very comfortable.

So I see no reason (as of yet) to slag off Easyjet. Someone prove me wrong.

EDIT: Just realised i'm flying to Alicante on Easyjet this summer. From Glasgow. During the summer holidays. Buggers.
(General_Manchego, Fri 30 May 2008, 22:40, closed)

I have no reason to slag easyjet either.
Everytime i flew, I found the staff pleasent and courteous. Ive never been delayed, theyve never lost a bag. I got a pretty decent price for the ticket. Cant complain at all really. Its sadly the "Other People" that use Easyjet is where the problems can be.

Oh, the only complaint I had once is that as i was walking up the stairs onto the plane, the engine ont he wing was making a rather worrying clonking and banging noise. It was rather loud and sounded rather wrong. But no one seemed to give a shit. Despite sounding like there was some missing bolts getting rattled around in there, the flight went without a problem.
(Miggyman, Fri 30 May 2008, 22:50, closed)

could be worse
could be RyanAir! They invented the low-cost airline, and some would say they've perfected it. See www.ryanire.com/ for plenty of examples...
( bnt what, me worry?, Sat 31 May 2008, 1:29, closed)

@ Citadel
My first thought reading about Easyjet was also Southwest Airlines.

I've used that one so many times that I too have discovered how to work around long waits. Yes, there are other, far superior airlines, but Southwest is damn near the only airline in town......you just have to get used to the pattern of how delayed you will be based on what time your flight is scheduled to leave.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sat 31 May 2008, 2:44, closed)