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This is a question Public Transport Trauma

Completely Underwhelmed writes, "I was on a bus the other day when a man got on wearing shorts, over what looked like greeny grey leggings. Then the stench hit me. The 'leggings' were a mass of open wounds, crusted with greenish solidified pus that flaked off in bits as he moved."

What's the worst public transport experience you've ever had?

(, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:13)
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Not exactly a bad experience, well for me anyway.
It’s a warm Monday rush-hour, I'm on the Bakerloo line from Paddington down to Charing X. The train was full and at Marylebone a hot, bothered and rather pregnant lady got on, I offered her my seat, no biggie, it's only 10 mins to my stop anyway.

At this point I’m nothing special I’m just a bloke in a suit who stood up for a woman, big deal.

I go back to my paper only to be barged past by a couple of twats with rucksacks who get on at baker street who whilst forcing their way onto the train annoy everyone standing in the lobby bit and one of them bangs the pregnant lady in the face with his rucksack.

They then proceeded basically tell the train that they were so excited to be getting the Eurostar from Waterloo (for this incident 'twas a while ago) and that their train is a mere 20 minutes away, they hoped they'd make it as they had restricted seats and needed to be on that train.

Alas dear reader, incensed as I was at the sight of the poor pregnant lady being spoinged in the face by the tail end of a rucksack without so much as the merest hint of an apology that I feel I somewhat over-reacted. I was no longer merely a bloke in a suit but an avenging angel, i did what any freeborn Englishman would have done in that situation.

Behind the back of twat #1 who was leaning with his rucksack against the pole, I winked broadly at the pregnant lady and proceeded to tie every available hanging strap and cord on the rucksack round the pole using as baroquely complicated knots as I could manage in the time remaining to me before I got off.

It makes my heart glad to imagine twat #1 attempting to rush for the Eurostar, it really does.
(, Sat 31 May 2008, 17:51, 9 replies)
i really want an excuse
to do that one day.
(, Sat 31 May 2008, 17:58, closed)
Take a bow
and a *click*
(, Sat 31 May 2008, 18:03, closed)
in my mind
your winking is theatrical and comical, and also you chuckle slightly.
(, Sat 31 May 2008, 18:40, closed)
Hahahaha, that
brought a smile to my face and warmed a cockle in my heart. *clickety click*
(, Sat 31 May 2008, 18:57, closed)
Excellent retribution
and the phrase "baroquely complicated knots" is fried gold, too
(, Sat 31 May 2008, 19:33, closed)
Hurrah for non violent direct action
I would have stayed on to see his frantic reactions when he ran off the train sans rucksac

(, Sat 31 May 2008, 21:23, closed)
I love this!
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:50, closed)
I hope this wins
Great story :)
(, Wed 4 Jun 2008, 22:58, closed)

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