First Love and first dumping.
My first proper girlfriend wan't the best looking girl. In fact, she wasn't good looking at all. She looked like Linda from "gimme gimme gimme".

I was about 15 and not that good looking myself so I guess we were made for each other really. When it came round to dumping her, I tried to be as tactful as possible, and let her down gently.* Her answer to thiss was to say "if you dump me, I'm going to tell your mum we had sex".

Sure enough, I was walking through the town with my mum and she sauntered over. She approached my mum and said. "I think you should know, me and your son had sex and he hurt my feelings!"

My mum, full of tact herself, gave me a slap around the head and starting shouting "You had sex with THAT?! What the fuck were you thinking? Look at it!"

I love my mum, but I still wont introduce her to a girl that wont meet HER standards!


^{*Total Lie, I just stopped calling and texting**
**Another Lie, this was before mobiles, we were into CB's and ignore all 19's for a copy from "Foxy lady"}
(sunray18, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 15:06, 6 replies)

Tell your mum you'd had sex?
What were you, both 12?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 15:13, closed)

Don't start all that shit
All the torch-burning imaginary-nonce-chasing fuckwits will be here any minute.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:29, closed)

There's nothing wrong with a good nonce-hounding.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:40, closed)

Haha!
Nice one Mum!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 15:18, closed)

click
your mum is scary
(justin(e), Fri 25 Nov 2011, 15:55, closed)

That she is,
one time she was in prison, Myra Hindley had the nerve to ask her the time.

"Time you told Winnie Johnson where Keith Bennett's buried" came the reply. She was moved.

Edit
www.searchingforkeith.com/
It's the least I can do.
(sunray18, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 16:41, closed)