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This is a question Devastating Put-Downs

Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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Another slap-down of a cold caller
A colleague at work used to get calls for a non-existent employee. At least once a day, his phone would ring and some drone in Mumbai would ask to speak to this mythical person. Despite repeatedly telling them that this person didn't work here, had never worked here and was completely unknown at this number, they kept calling. His normally cheerful demeanor was beginning to crack.

So I suggested a different approach. The next time they called, it went something like this:

"Hello, could I speak to Mr Nosuchperson please?"

"I'm sorry, he's dead."

"Er, did you say dead?"

"Yes. I just killed him."

"I'm sorry?"

"I just killed him. He's lying dead at my feet. There really is a lot of blood, more than I expected."


They never called back.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:46, Reply)

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