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This is a question Devastating Put-Downs

Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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A few years ago I used to get the train to Chelmsford along with about a bajillion other commuters. Getting out of the station every morning was made slightly more bareable by the guards leaving the wheelchair access open and glancing at tickets held up by passengers as they hurried through. One morning there was a new face on duty and the wide gate was closed. It was taking far longer than usual for us to get out to the street as more and more trains pulled in.
I witnessed at least half a dozen people ask the guard why the gate was closed as they each got to the barrier and with a withering look he would just silently tap the automated barrier and refuse to provide any reasonable answer.
When I got to the fron I said "Excuse me mate, I have just a small piece of advice for you. When paying customers ask you a reasonable question it would be polite of you to give them a reasonable answer". This was completely ignored and as I got to the other side of the barrier I finished with "Otherwise people might think you're an ignorant cunt".
Thereby easing my frustration without 'actually' calling him an ignorant cunt :)
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 12:47, 2 replies)
Less of a "put down"
Maybe more of an "astute observation".
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 12:52, closed)
Indeed. All train station staff are wankers.
Particularly tube staff.
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:10, closed)

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