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The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis
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The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis
Confess. Female b3tans may need to improvise.
( , Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:13)
Confess. Female b3tans may need to improvise.
( , Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:13)
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Oh...well not truly in the spirit but it'll do.
I was once staying at my sister's house. Now my sister lives in an old farmhouse in the Durham Dales. Very old. As in around 500 years. Now, it's also a listed building and so they are fairly limited on the work they can do on it.
I stayed over one night, and woke up to find myself in need of a pee. Unfortunately, little Carrot was not so little at that moment. It looked like an angry plum trying to wrestle its way out of a sausage roll. So off I trot to the bathroom.
Unfortunately, my sister's bathroom has no lock on the door. The general principle is that if the door is closed, then the room is in use.
More unfortunately, I have a 5 year old nephew.
So there I was, trying to wrestle my engorged meatsabre into a position where I could risk a wee, when my nephew opens the door, wanders in, and shouts at that particular volume and resonance that kids use when they want to be at their most unintentionally embarrasing "Uncle Carrot, you've got a huge willy. Why's it gone so hard?"
Great. Way to make me sound like a complete paedo, carrotnephew.
But ta for the "huge willy" comment.
( , Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:55, 4 replies)
I was once staying at my sister's house. Now my sister lives in an old farmhouse in the Durham Dales. Very old. As in around 500 years. Now, it's also a listed building and so they are fairly limited on the work they can do on it.
I stayed over one night, and woke up to find myself in need of a pee. Unfortunately, little Carrot was not so little at that moment. It looked like an angry plum trying to wrestle its way out of a sausage roll. So off I trot to the bathroom.
Unfortunately, my sister's bathroom has no lock on the door. The general principle is that if the door is closed, then the room is in use.
More unfortunately, I have a 5 year old nephew.
So there I was, trying to wrestle my engorged meatsabre into a position where I could risk a wee, when my nephew opens the door, wanders in, and shouts at that particular volume and resonance that kids use when they want to be at their most unintentionally embarrasing "Uncle Carrot, you've got a huge willy. Why's it gone so hard?"
Great. Way to make me sound like a complete paedo, carrotnephew.
But ta for the "huge willy" comment.
( , Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:55, 4 replies)
Ah,
I'd love to see that on one of those "Kids say the darnedest things" -type shows...
( , Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:43, closed)
I'd love to see that on one of those "Kids say the darnedest things" -type shows...
( , Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:43, closed)
So if a building is listed...
...you're not allowed to put a lock on the bathroom door???
( , Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:16, closed)
...you're not allowed to put a lock on the bathroom door???
( , Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:16, closed)
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