Marrakesh Gay Boy Cock Muncher
Monkey-chucking capital of the world, Marrakesh is.

You can't walk down the street in Marrakesh without having a monkey chucked in your face, somebody taking your photo and then demanding money off you.

I was out there a few years back with work, teaching sales techniques to the North Africa branch of the multinational insurance company I worked for.

It was pretty dull, really. I remember one night I went out for a meal by myself. I found an authentic Moroccan restaurant and took a seat.

Now, my knowledge of Moroccan is fuck all, and the only thing I know how to say in French is: "I play aeroplane." A sentence which I hadn't found any use for on the trip so far.

A waiter comes over, shows me a menu. Instead I point at what the couple on the next table are eating. I gesticulate, using the international language of flapping your arms about alot, that I'd like what their having.

So, I wait.

Eventually a big pot of steaming hot stew turns up at my table.

I tuck in. Its got veg in it. Its got meat too. Chewy meat. Gristly meat. Some kind of undercooked sausage sliced up, fatty on the outside, hard as nails on the inside. I need a couple of beers to wash it down my gullet.

I'm merrily stirring my spoon in the dish when it floats to the surface, it had a similar effect on me as watching that scene in Jaws for the first time when the body falls through the hole in the boat and scares the shit out of the diver. I actually leapt backwards in my chair.

I stared down, and staring back up at me was a japs eye attached to a swollen purple bloated bell end.

I suddenly felt really rather ill.

The next day in the office I'm looking pale as a ghost. The previous nights' meal had played havock with my insides most of the night. It really was undercooked and had turned my arse into the proverbial tap for shitty brown bum water. I must've shat out half my bodyweight and quite possibly a kidney.

I remember saying to my boss the next day after he enquired why I was so quiet for a change:

"Thought I'd try something new last night. I ate some cock," I say shaking my head wearily. "and to make matters even worse I've been up all night nursing a red raw arse."

My boss looked me up and down and walked off muttering.
( SpankyHanky, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 16:27, 5 replies)

So you're trying to tell us
that your arse was ripped apart by a raw Moroccan cock?

But you're not gay. Of course not.

Did you push back?

Edit: Clicky for your boss. I wish I had his composure.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 20:16, closed)

Don't believe you.
( giant_squid, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 20:33, closed)

Click
Cos of your bosses reaction.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 21:05, closed)

Lovely job
SpankyHanky!
(Errin C, Mon 16 Mar 2009, 9:40, closed)

HeeHeeHee!
Funny!
(Save Us All !!!, Mon 16 Mar 2009, 9:41, closed)