My friends, and other animals
And so. I found myself once again in a fog smoked room. The smoke from the 3rd spliff lingered in the air. I amused myself by making, frankly pathetic, smoke rings. It was my turn to tell a tale.

We'd been here many nights before. A different room, the same people, the same fug. We took it in turns to regale one another with stories from our past. It was my turn.

It was my turn.

I looked around. They'd heard the tale of the abandoned mine shaft. The one about me and the bloke with the hair lip. I'd even recounted the truly dreadful story of the wheelchair. How could I top it? Where could I go next?

Suddenly I remembered. A smooth, glassy wave of relief crashed over me. It was time.

"I'd been with Steve for about 18 months. It was horrible. My liver still hasn't forgiven me. Every conversation was the same, every journey was tired. I was tired. We'd got to that awful point in a relationship when his touch made me cringe. One night, I lay in bed crying. Not prettily, I cried great braying sobs.
A conversation ensued.
'What's wrong?' he asked
'We don't understand each other' said I
A sudden, unexpected explosion of emotion.
'You have no idea' he shouted 'last Friday, when I stayed with my brother, we got drunk and took some charlie. His wife was asleep in the next room, so I crashed out in his bed with him and when I woke up he was WANKING ME OFF'"

Their faces. Their sweet sweet stoned faces all stared at me. Maybe this wasn't the time? Maybe I should never have told that story. It took a few moments before they all started laughing.

Incest.(the worst thing he ever did with his penis? - tenous?) NEVER NOT FUNNY.
( my_cat_has_no_shoes meh meh meh MEH MEH, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 23:01, Reply)