The thing I’m most ashamed of doing with a penis...
...putting one up for sale on eBay.

Once upon a time I accidentally took a Parker pen from a workmate’s desk.

When he realised it was gone he asked for it back and I said I would return it.

However, before I could get it back to him he took my special battery-powered stapler in retaliation.

In turn I, like any rational being, decided to put his Parker pen on eBay.

He got me back by encasing my beloved stapler in jelly. I did not find this funny.

He then took the extra step of putting the jellified stapler on eBay. This was also unfunny.

He then went even further and promoted his auction to anybody who would listen, including the BackBytes page of Computing magazine. Despite the comedy rule of three, I still didn’t find this funny.

Luckily for us two co-workers intervened, won both auctions and ensured the items of stationery were returned to their original owners.

Looking back, I am ashamed of my childish behaviour.

Oh, and apologies for the typo above.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Sun 15 Mar 2009, 19:16, 2 replies)

You are Gareth Keenan
AICMFP

I think...?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 16 Mar 2009, 17:54, closed)

No £5 for you I'm afraid, this really did happen
The jellifier freely admitted at the time that jellifying the stapler was Office-inspired, but apart from that this is an original tale of stationery covetousness gone awry.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 22:32, closed)