Smack the Pony
Jesus...

...please forgive me.

Last one from me this week, been building up to this motherfucker.

The heady days of summer, 1993, I'm eighteen and have just finished my A-Levels. Through some fucking fluke I got excellent grades and was off to Manchester later in the year to piss about, do shitloads of drugs, and pretend to be that cunt Morrissey (only without the fucking flowers). Life was good, life was excellent.

I had a job that glorious hot summer working in a garden centre in Northampton (just opposite Sixfields for anyone who knows the area). I got friendly with a group of summer workers there and we'd end up doing the tried and tested past time of teenagers everywhere - stock up on enough white lightning to kill a tyranosaurus rex, enough packets of Royals to cause serious illness and disease to the population of your average medium-sized town, and fuck off to a field, relax in the sun, and get shitfaced.

Happy days...

Now, most of the people I used to hang round with that summer have faded from my memory on account of them having a penis. I only seem to remember the various ladies who've floated through my life - I think the vauge chance that I might actually get my end away with some lovely girly means I tend to remember them more than a useless fucking bloke. I mean, what the fuck can I do with a cock?

Anyway, this was back in the day before my cherry had been popped. (That happened when I was nineteen). And I'd developed a bit of an infactuation with a cool as fuck girl who used to work at the garden centre in the pond supplies department. She was named Katie and would hand round with us fellas, come drinking with us, and generally be more blokey than the rest of us combined.

She was also very pretty, in a Courtney Love kind of way (yes, I know - but I was only eighteen and desperate to feel the insides of a real live woman). She'd wear big black doc martins, little summery dresses with flowers, and fishnets with loads of holes in them. She was, in my teenage mindseye, fucking perfect.

One summers' evening we're sat round in a field, Katie and I and some random blokes from the garden centre. We're drinking, smoking, and listening to Jane's Addiction on a portable stereo. There's a couple of ponys mulling about too, they don't seem to mind us and just carry on grazing, doing pony-related shit.

Then we humans start to play a game. The game is simply named: Katie, Show Us Your Tits.

And she does.

And there's an awed quiet as five or six teenage lads try and hide instant rock hard erections. Seeing a pair of boobies was more impressive than having ET's spaceship land in that field and for the occupants to ask for directions to Elliot's house. It was, quite simply, awsome.

Katie's laughing at us. She's enjoying the tractor beam hold she's having on us pittiful lads.

With an evil glint in her eye she says:

"If you all give me a fiver I'll touch one of the cocks in this field," and she chuckles like a nutter, eyeing each and everyone of us up, almost rubbing her hands in glee.

Us fellas look at each other. The odds were about 6 - 1 of having a real live female stroke the luncheon meat truncheon. The odds were fucking amazing as in any other social situation the chances of getting the same were akin to winning the lottery.

So we all chip in our fivers.

Katie tucks the cash in her hemp bag and scurries off.

What the fuck is she doing?

And she approaches one of the two ponies, a little jet black fucker with a shaggy black mane, and she turns back to us, stroking the pony's back, and says:

"You ready?"

We can't turn away. We sort of know what's about to happen, but we're compelled to watch.

As Katie bends down and strokes the pony's ebony cock. She wraps both hands round the mighty member and pulls like she's milking a fucking cow. The pony doesn't seem to notice, just carries on grazing away at the grass.

But its cock certainly does.

Within moments the damn thing has trippled in size, its popped out the sheath and is dangling, hard and pink with a great black bell end.

"Ha!" says Katie, turning back to us with a sly look on her face. "Ha!" and she turns back to her pony cock.

After a few more strokes she stands, pats the pony's shaggy mane, and saunters back over to us.

"Got you all!" she giggled.

And I have to admit its my eternal shame that I was harder than I'd ever been in my life and ever have been since. Seeing that display will stay with me til the day I die as the sexiest thing my own two eyes has ever seen a woman do with a cock. OK, it wasn't my cock, and its probably a bit weird that the cock in question belonged to an animal, but I tell you what - it was damn sexy.

"Katie," I said as she stood infront of us, hands on hips, smiling down. "If I'd have known you were going to do that I'd probably have given you a tenner."

Katie sat amoung us, opened a packet of crisps, had a few and then offered the packet round.

"No thanks, Katie," I said, although it was fucking sexy I really didn't fancy the thought of eating crisps flavoured with the delicate scent of pony cock anytime soon.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:02, 7 replies)

fuck me
fuck me... fuck me... click
(Errin C, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:09, closed)

click
you really are just a wrongun!
(Grrrrr Tigers, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:10, closed)

Spanky for Prime Minister
*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:17, closed)

CLICKS HARD
HARDER THAN A VERY HARD THING !
(Save Us All !!!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:19, closed)

Excellent
*uses member to click*

Ow!
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:00, closed)

Pony Cock
I hadn't realised Walkers had released that flavour too...
( Weejock, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:41, closed)

Uh...huh...uuuuuuh
Uuuuuh...huh...huh....uuuuu.....
( brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 10:10, closed)