My love was on a 2 week sponsored silence...
...to raise money for degenerative illness care.

Over this time period, she couldn't speak, read or write.

Nodding, cavorting and being disturbed in the night were firmly on the cards, however.

Before getting our heads down one night, we had a very sexy canoodle after a day of winding each other up something chronic. It wasn't climactic for me so to keep it short and sweet for her took all my powers of self-control. I was going to sleep with hormones raging through me like a swarm of hungry motherfucking hornets. We've all been there.

Apparantly, during the night; in the middle of a deep sleep; my body decided it was getting relief from this ordeal anyway and proceeded to masturbate so furiously that the instrumental love-elbow bashed repeatedly against her ribs with it's own brand of boystrous vigour until she was rudely awoken, to confront me in the middle of what had amounted to be the most belligerent, yet utterly unconscious wank of my life.

The shameful part was the next day when she was trying to mime the scenario to me in the kitchen with her flatmates. I sweated the awkward cusp of finding it completely hilarious, yet being with genuine concern that long term psychological scarring had probably occured. I had to wait until her silence was over before I could be certain that I hadn't gotten the wrong end of the stick.
(BelligerentCamelToe, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:21, 2 replies)

Ha!
Nice one, mate.

Apparently in my sleep the other night I informed the Mrs that: "my cock is so HARD!" and then rolled over and started snoring.

Huh, men, ehh???
( SpankyHanky, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:43, closed)

Indeed
Last year I was woken by a swift jab in the ribs, to realise I was doing my best to hump the missus in my sleep. Good times.
(UXB you said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 21:43, closed)