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This is a question Relief

Last week, I thought we'd run over and killed something. After steeling myself to get out and find the body of somebody's beloved pet, I found we'd squished a bin bag. When has something turned out not as grim as you first thought?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:38)
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Short and to the (needle) point
Had a blood test for a... hmm... let's just say, very deadly disease once - and with good reason to suspect I had picked it up.

Had to wait a week for the results, it was the longest and strangest week of my life, I pinballed from sheer shitting panic to giddy euphorias of denial, often within the same minute. My friends knew there was something up but I could not tell them.

The day I got the results - the second I was told I was clear - felt like being dropped from a great height into pool of ice cold water. I have never felt anything like it. Almost worth the week of worry. I spent days a walking cliche with my head in the clouds.

A week later I found a lump on my left bollock and went through it all again.

There's a word for people like me: hypochondriac. I'm a lot better now (ha!), but fuck, the days and weeks I have spent worrying about FUCK ALL astound me now.

You read about depression a lot in the press but hypochondria is at least as debilitating, when you think you have something you act as if you actually have it, so you might as well have it, but (usually) you haven't.

The day the doctor tells me I actually do have cancer, or whatever terminal disease, fuck knows how I will react. Collapse dead on the spot, I reckon.

Stupid puny human brain.
(, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 19:57, 2 replies)
Have you lost weight?
You look a bit scrawny and lumpy around the neck. I'm not saying it's definitely Hodgkins disease or owt. But ... you know.
(, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 20:05, closed)
Pah! Had that and drank it off!
(, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 20:23, closed)

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