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I've given this a bit more thought and here's what I have to say. I'm aware of your bipolarism and that I don't fully understand it, but I just thought I'd let out what's on my mind.

From what I read, it sounds like you've either been studying or employed almost constantly since you were 12 with very little time-off. My advice is to take a year off work and responsibility and just indulge in some "You-time". You've contributed greatly to society by writing some computer graphics books, entertaining the QOTW-reading masses with your wit and insightfulness, and goodness knows what else. You've been through a lot of shit and had lots of shit hurled at you and you seem to be allowing yourself to be defined by negativity, so it's about time you did something for yourself. You deserve it! Tell your Protestant work ethic and Catholic guilt to go and STFU! If you have to, rant at your parents about it and if necessary, rant at your grandparents for passing their respective religious badnesses to your parents (but do apologise and make up afterwards, let them know you don’t mean for them to take it too personally and hug them).

My recommendation is to work on a project you've always wanted to do and go travelling. I have several travel-recommendations but I think for you, the best one would be to spend a year in the USA and just let yourself be yourself. Get yourself a great big fuck-off motorbike with a radio tuned to a Classic-Rock station and go wherever you want under your own terms and take on whatever adventure you come across. The great emptiness of Western USA is ideal for when you just want to be alone, and when you want to party like it's 1999, New Orleans is the place to be!

USA is cheap due to the weak dollar, but the rising petrol price may slow you down. Also, any medications you need will not be cheap (although you might be able to get them cheaper if you cross the border into Canada), and do remember to get health insurance before you go.

Seeing you have some mental disorders, your existing place of work will be sympathetic when it comes round to giving out a reference. They may see you taking a year off work as a means of healing yourself. If your new place of employment demands to know why you've got a gap on your CV, just shove the CV up their 'gap'. Once you get your new job after your year-off, you may have shaken off your Catholic guilt, but you may need your Protestant work ethic back so you can get some work done.

I seem to remember just before I went on my holiday you were complaining about an insane failure rate at your university. Maybe your next job should be at a more prestigious university where there are stricter criteria for offering places to students.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 24 May 2008, 17:07, Reply)