What the hell is a 'soffit' and why do I want one
When I was at college in my 2nd year of A-levels, despite having shitloads of coursework on and various mental health issues I decided to take on a part-time job at a call centre with Stayshite Windows, just to get some extra money for xmas prezzies and all that bollocks. As predicted, it was the most depressing job I ever had. Highlights include:

-Having to work in a scummy back office wearing my coat the whole time because the lardarse boss insisted on having the fire escape door open constantly, for fear his shitty polyester suit would spontaneously combust from his body heat,

-'enjoying' the smell of rotting food which would emanate from the alley and float in through the aforementioned open fire escape, courtesy of the Mcdonalds and the thai restaurant we were wedged inbetween,

-Working with a load of disgusting pikeys who were unappealing to all the five senses and refused to talk to me because I had a black coat and black hair, and therefore was some kind 'smelly goffick weirdo'. Tbh being ignored by these cretins was fine with me.

-The obvious 'fun' of the job itself, i.e. calling people up and asking if they would like new double glazing, soffits (still no clue) or fascias perhaps? I got one person who was actually interested in this shoddy-ass company, but predictably I saw no commission from this,

-The fact that I clearly had no time for this silly shit at this point in my life and got paid pretty much dick all for it, I had no free time because when I wasn't at work or college, I was at home helping my mother make some shite cardboard xmas decorations for her office (which took fucking ages), which I couldn't get out of for some reason, possibly because of her ugly temper and because she was still mad at me for daring to have sex with my long-term boyfriend, which she had found out about several months previous and instigated the sheer carnage that ensued, and may have still not quite gotten over...but thats another story.

Anyway, one day I could just not be arsed to sit in a chilly smelly office (in fact office is making it sound more glamourous than it is, more like a miserable smoking room) with a load of chavs and the fat, slimy lecherous boss, getting paid peanuts to have strangers shout at me down the phone for 4 hours, so I thought 'fuck this' and told the boss I couldn't come in that day for some stupid bullshit reason, and went to Pizza Hut with my mates. It was nice. I then just ignored all phonecalls from work and spent the rest of the pre-holiday period in relative bliss.

If your job makes you want to die and you can't get another right away, consider going on the dole, just for a bit. Seriously.

Or, just don't go in and see how long its before they notice. If its less than an hour then the shithole needs you more than you could possibly need them, and you should use this to your advantage. If not, just see how long you keep getting paid for.
(Ryuken-Kai, Sun 25 May 2008, 17:18, 3 replies)

soffit
underside of an archway, windowframe etc.
(Thank you, Dr McN., Medieval Architecture unit lecturer extraordinaire.)

That knowledge is of no comfort to you at all, right?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sun 25 May 2008, 17:42, closed)

While that is technically correct,
the OP is more likely referring to the use of the term to describe the board to the underside of the eaves of a roof. I'm also guessing they're taking about the uPVC stuff.
(dxg, Sun 25 May 2008, 19:49, closed)

Hmm
"-Working with a load of disgusting pikeys who were unappealing to all the five senses and refused to talk to me because I had a black coat and black hair, and therefore was some kind 'smelly goffick weirdo'. Tbh being ignored by these cretins was fine with me."

You licked and touched them? :-o Eww
(Belgaer is, Mon 26 May 2008, 1:19, closed)