Wheezy old cyclist
I was about 12, my brother about 8, or thereabouts.

Mum had entrusted us to walk round the corner to the shops to pick up some few essentials (this was a particularly brave move in my case, because the last time I'd been sent to the shops, I'd come back with cabbage instead of lettuce). Clutching a fiver tight in one grubby palm, and a short shopping list in the other, I made small talk with my younger bro of Tottenham Hotspur and WWF wrestling, for at the time they were my only interests. A quick glance at my bookshelf reveals that perhaps it's time to diversify as I progress through my fourth decade.

Toward us came a cyclist. An ancient, geriatric old man, on an ancient, geriatric old bike. He was dappered up nicely with a flat cap on his head, tweed suit, brogues, and ancient brown tie. As he approached us, we could hear a terrifying wheezing and creaking as he struggled to draw breath. As he drew alongside, his face contorted and he clutched worryingly at his chest, as his foot came down to hit the kerb. He let go of the bike and took refuge in leaning on a convenient lamppost. Imagine a cross between George Formby and Albert Steptoe, and you'd be close.

Anxiously, we two little boys watched him gasping for air, flapping at himself with his tatty flat cap. Despite the occasional bicker, we were good kids: well brought-up with teachings of respect for our elders, and both Boy Scouts with the message of helping other people firmly ingrained in our subconscious. I cleared my throat, and sidled over to the ancient wreckage. "Er...excuse me, sir? Are you OK?"

The old man drew a ghastly, rattling breath, eyed up the two wide-eyed and keen youngsters, and nodded feebly. As he took in the generosity of spirit in our eager requests for help, he stared at us in disbelief with a tear in his eye, and said...

"Little wankers."

And then he swung a leg back over his bike and creaked on his way.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:19, 2 replies)

phew
b3ta.com/links/coffee_aint_it
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 0:18, closed)

I suspect
That you don't actually know whether you're spamming or just posting a link to a good song in a really obvious way.

Fool.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 12:05, closed)