Can you smell something?
When I were a lad, me and my mates always seemed to be exploring empty houses, factories etc. I guess people weren't as security-minded back then. One day, during one of these expeditions, a mate found a bottle of clear liquid. After smelling it, he offered it to me, saying "Ere, smell this, it's amazing!" So without thinking, I took a huge double lungful up my hooter. A massive, heroic snurf that would have cleared the table of not just my line, but everyone elses', in later life.

Unfortunately, the bottle contained pure, undiluted ammonia. I think I actually collapsed, as my nose screamed in agony and white and purple stars exploded in my brain. It was several minutes before I could see again, through the copious, streaming tears. To this day I have a very poor sense of smell, and I reckon this is why.

Not content with doing me in, he then dumped the ammonia by pouring it through the gap someone had inadvisedly left at the top of their car window.

Come to think of it, he was an utter shit.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:06, 6 replies)

Da fuck?
Your mate sounds like a 100% gold plated limited edition prize wazzock.
( The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:25, closed)

i feel bad for you son
b3ta.com/links/coffee_aint_it
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 0:17, closed)

older bro did the same to me
It was a white powder in a brown glass jar. Still have never found out what was in it. Mum denies it was in her kitchen, but it was, I tell you!

He was an utter shit too, but he's certified insane now, so I suppose it's only right to forgive him.
( kila is reading clocks upside-down as usual, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 7:10, closed)

A 'mate' once offered me 'a sniff of this', which I naively took to be some exotic perfume, but turned out to be poppers.
Which I'd never even heard of before and wouldn't have been keen to try, especially as I was eight weeks pregnant at the time, which she knew. Very funny.

However, all turned out well with the baby, and the 'mate' is now dead. So that's all right then.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 20:37, closed)

Your dead mate was clearly an utter cunt.
Deserves to be dead.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 21:27, closed)

Just to bring things full circle.....
MY mate offered me a sniff of a bottle one night in the pub, implying that it was poppers. Turned out to be ammonia smelling salts!
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Sun 19 Feb 2012, 11:40, closed)