gottle o' geer
about 10 years ago, i was invited to a friend's birthday party in his local pub. i'd never been there before, but he assured me it was a decent boozer. i don't live in the area, so didn't know anybody there and was feeling a little self-conscious. the fact that it was a fancy dress party and i was done up as a viking, horned hat and all, didn't help.
when i got to the pub, i decided to have a quick smoke outside and steel my nerves before walking in there. as everyone else he'd invited was local, i had had to go alone.
as i stood outside, 2 men walked out. they seemed perfectly normal, not exactly pissed, probably had a swift couple after work.
however, as they were walking past me, one of them finished his bottle of budweiser. instead of disposing of it correctly, he decided to twat me full force over the head with the fucking thing.
it hurt. it hurt a LOT. seriosly, if it hadn't been for that damn plastic helmet i was wearing taking some of the force of the blow, i truly believe i'd have spent the night in hospital -or worse, the morgue- because of that total fuckwitted snatchpipe.
after staggering around for a couple of minutes and gradually regaining such things as balance, senses, eyesight and composure, i went inside to tell my friend what had happened. nobody knew who the two men were(or if they did, they weren't telling) and, of course, the CCTV was broken. to this day i have no idea who they were or why one of them decided to try a bit of impromptu street surgery on my noggin.
i guess some people are just cunts.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 19:05, 5 replies)

haha budweiser
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 19:17, closed)

could have been worse
at least it wasn't stella
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 19:23, closed)

or babycham
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 19:25, closed)

pfff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 19:26, closed)

lol
b3ta.com/links/coffee_aint_it
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 0:16, closed)