You say "Evil," I say "Vigilanteism..."
I was a nice kid in elementary school, but one year (I was 8) our class of 30 had this kid who was really big for his age and a real punk.

The school was all out at recess, and the bell sounds to go back in. On my way back, I notice three things:
1) a little orange cone
2) a sprinkler head
3) tall kid probably returning from an act of malice, but still a ways off.

Inspiration strikes. A moment later, I call out to him, "Hey Mike! You think you're so cool but I bet you can't kick this little cone more than two feet!"

The challenge is issued -- our eyes lock for a second, and then he hollers, "oh yeah!?" and gets a running start. 15 meters, 10, 5, he's at the cone, he kicks the cone, and the cone... stays there. Mike, however, does not. He goes flying, falling, rolling, swearing, and everyone laughs. One of the old ladies watching us has no idea what happened, my guilt still cleverly hidden under the orange cone. I walked off, quite pleased with myself, and that's that.

Of course, this is the same kid who angrily insisted that the blue marker was purple and who could fart on command, and ended up getting held back a year and eventually kicked out of the school... But at that age, I had no concept of guilt so it's all gravy.
( CTVadim Eeeeasing back into it., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 0:41, 2 replies)

was this child called charlie brown?
were there cries of 'aaugh'?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 7:00, closed)

I like to think
that this guy has got by in life by being able to fart on command. The original Johnny Fartpants.
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sun 19 Feb 2012, 10:13, closed)