Bees are people too
I have a lot of respect for bees. They work hard, they look badass, they sound like summer and - according to Einstein - pollinators are quite important for our survival.

Last summer I found a huge bee on the windowsill in our spare room. He was moving, but couldn't fly. Hive bees don't eat the pollen they collect, so they can't survive if they don't get back to their hive. I had an idea.

I mixed a spoon of honey with some warm water, put some paper towel on a plate and poured the honey water on top. I carefully lifted the bee and put it on the plate, and left it in a sunny spot on our wall.

The bee clicked soon enough, and started drinking. After half an hour or so he started buzzing and lifted an inch or so off before falling back. Another half an hour later, he gingerly took off like an over-laden star cruiser, and headed towards the sunset.

I've tried this a few times since, and have about a 70% success rate. Go on, give it a go. You'll feel all warm inside.
(psammead, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:09, 20 replies)

Aww

But it was probably a bumble bee and not a honey bee but they eat the same stuff....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:18, closed)

On tonight's menu...
It was a bumble bee, but it was honey water or malt loaf, so I took an executive decision!
(psammead, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:22, closed)

On the one hand: aww, how sweet of you.
On the other hand: you're fucking with natural selection, by allowing inferior bees to survive. You've probably doomed us all.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:22, closed)

A Couple
of months before I left the UK I can remember reading an article on how bumble bees were almost extinct in the UK. Below that was an article on how some plant species, common 200 000 years ago but not seen since then, were magically reappearing.

Ergo - kill bees, get back rare plants.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:32, closed)

Oh, joy.
Triffids, everywhere.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:38, closed)

Triffic!!

( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:33, closed)

Extinction-level event
Homo sapiens first appear in the fossil record about 195,000 years ago. 5,000 years after these plants were last common.

Ergo - bring back old-skool plants, destroy humans
(psammead, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:43, closed)

Nah, it's all good , workers don't breed.
If you doubt this, explain how it is that the unemployed seem to reproduce at such an alarming rate.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:43, closed)

Biting social satire.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:53, closed)

When I used to live in a hot country
we had a pool in the garden.

I used to fish any struggling insect out of the pool with a net, and leave them on the patio to dry. Hundreds of bees owed their lives to me.
(username failed moderation, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:31, closed)

I do that with flies
But last week I spent about five minutes trying in vain to revive one that I'd retrieved from the sink, before realising that it was a piece of fluff.
( Norbert Lightowler, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:49, closed)

When my dad dug the garden,
young me would "rescue" worms by plucking them from the soil and throwing them over the fence, lest they be cleaved in two by his shovel.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:59, closed)

I used to do that as a child.
Unfortunately the majority of them would get eaten by the multitude of ants that plied their trade around the side of the pool....
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:34, closed)

I read the last line of the second paragraph as
'oven-laden star cruiser'

And was so impressed I instantly gave you a click.

I suppose 'over-laden' makes more sense, but doesn't present the awesome mental images of a star cruiser full of white goods.
(SimianKid internet faffer, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:51, closed)

"Bees are people too"
They also have another similarity with Humans - they love to get shit-faced. They are actively drawn to anything fermented (high-sugar levels I s'pose) and proceed to get wap-faced with an intense passion. It's such a problem that (I shit you not) some types of non-worker bees stop them getting back into the hive to shred the place up - bouncer bees!!
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:39, closed)

Dear god I hope this is true
Sauce?
(SimianKid internet faffer, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 16:03, closed)

Various
bit.ly/A4Kd0T
bit.ly/A2rsRf

Plus dozens more...

A slight aside - the Classic/Ancient Greek word for drunk is translated as honey-intoxicated. What more proof do you need if the freakin' Greeks knew it?
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 17:07, closed)

Bees can fuck off

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 19:20, closed)

Yea fuck clarinets too.

(yourmumonastickwithmintsauce, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 20:34, closed)

That's pretty cool
Bet it gives you a bit of a buzz.
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 20:46, closed)