Creepy Thin Man
it started off well, he made me laugh and could roll a joint. he wasn't that bad in bed, either. i knew he wasn't the type for an exclusive relationship, but nor was i. we were happy enough just having fun.
now for the bad points. he was unbelievably quiet. i mean, really. you had to constantly ask him to speak up as nobody could hear what he was saying. he was so thin, if he turned sideways, he practically disappeared. if we stood next to each othet, we looked like the number 18. he would hit on ANY woman. i've seen him get turned down by one girl, then try it on with her mother. he though hygiene was a greeting. he was bone idle. he had no backbone whastsoever. i once saw him getting hit by a 12-year-old girl. he was 34 at the time. he would let anyone and everyone walk all over him.
i knew all these things about him, but that was just him, so i accepted it. we were both seeing other people from time to time, so it wasn't so bad.
one day, he turned up on my doorstep, dripping blood from a very nasty wound on his head. turns out a girl he knew had gone to his house for a smoke, but he'd caught her stealing from him and asked her to leave. she responded by telling her father, a crazy turkish guy with a machete and a bad attitude, that CTM had tried it on with her. her dad went utterly tonto and attacked him with the machete. fortunately, the wound wasn't too deep, but it was pretty nasty. being the spineless twat i'd grown to know and detest, he refused to call the police, in case the girl's dad caught up with him again. he asked if he could stay with me, as he was too scared to go home. foolishly, i let him move in.
for five months, he ate me out of house and home, stank the place out with his feet, made a point of coming into the bathroom for a shit while i was in the bath, smoked my fags and never once contributed a penny. finally, i'd had enough. we weren't sleeping together any more and hadn't been for some time. i just couldn't bear to be near him any more, so i threw him out.
about 2 months later, he called around, looking for sympathy. whilst he was living at mine, he'd gone to meet a woman in leeds, who'd generously shared her crabs with him. he seriously thought i'd be supportive.
i laughed my fucking arse off.
i haven't seen Creepy Thin Man for 2 years now. i finally got rid of him the only way i knew how - i lent him money.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 17:18, 2 replies)

Hope it was no more than a fifty.

(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Sat 23 Oct 2010, 8:19, closed)

£240, actually
we were going on holiday. he said he'd pay me back and, as i'd lent him money before and got it back, i thought he'd pay me this time. fucker still owes me £110.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 20:18, closed)