She was a bitch........
She was evil, she was head of accounts, her name was Ralph. Well, not really, it was Margaret, but we called her Ralph because she had hair like Ralph Coates (70s football fans nodding in appreciation). She had a deeply unpleasant condition that meant her body did not filter waste properly and instead of going through her bladder, her piss came through her skin. Something like that, anyway. She constantly smelt of stale wee. Because of this she constantly sprayed herself with "4711", another remnant of the 70s, to stop people throwing up when they went near her.
Anyway, she sacked Kirk, officially because of his timekeeping, but in reality because he was black. You could do things like that back then. Kirk was my best mate. I was furious, but not furious enough to walk out on the cushiest job in the world (that came later). I waited until she went home half day on the following Friday (flexi hours, she always did) and I took her toilet water to it's spiritual home - the toilet.
I took the sprayer off, emptied half of the sickly smelling liquid down the bog and carefully filled it back up with piss.
She had no idea. She was constantly surrounded by the smell of piss, so she never even noticed. Everyone else in the office noticed that her smell had got worse, but only me and Ted knew why. That bottle lasted a good two months after I did that. Sweet.
(george_w_anker, Fri 14 May 2004, 1:53, Reply)