Ex girlfriend.
Complete sponger, she lived with me for three years, and four of those months were *after* we broke up. She never paid for anything, ate all my food, put a lock on my bedroom door etc.

So I had my new girlfriend round as often as possible, and we used to shag everywhere. Even started going at it on the sofa while the ex was there watching TV.

Then, when she was finally ready to leave, I wiped my arse with her toothbrush, pissed in her mug, and sewed up a dead rabbit inside her favourite stuffed toy.
(Foss, Fri 14 May 2004, 12:56, Reply)