Here's a selection
GF first: She hated her one particular flatmate who made all the others living in the house lives a living hell. My (now charming and well behaved) lady used her flatmates precious pots and pans as portable urinals when the unheated house was freezing and she could not face the icerink that was the bathroom.
Me now: I was at the end of a very unrewarding relationship, and the sex part had turned rubbish. As she was 17 and I was 18, we were round her parents place, and I was in the spare room. Sex became 1) me sneak into her room smuggling a chubby 2) me go down on her 3) she get sudden 'headache' and I go back to spare room with severe teenage priapism. Since I was in army, I only got Sat night out. On the third week running of this I went to the ensuite (her parents were loaded) and gently maintained myself on the brink of the gravy stroke until I could hear the snores, then snuck back out and unloaded all over her upturned face and precious hair. I left her sleeping to be woken by her mum and only returned to bin her the next week.
Another : Left the Academy for summer leave. One wanker had really cheesed us off all year and not done the decent thing and resigned. He moved his room and left early not helping the rest as per normal. We broke in, soaked his carpet, left his curtains open and sowed grass seed with daisys on the floor. He returned to a meadow and a demand for explanations as his room security was his responsibility. We also filled his shoes with vomit.
(I am the infinite monkey!, Fri 14 May 2004, 15:38, Reply)