I was very evil once....
I'd been seeing this girl for quite a while, and then she decided, actually, that my best mate would be a far better proposition than me, and promptly propositioned him.

I bit my toungue and bided my time.

They'd been seeing each other for 3 weeks when his birthday came round. Now, having been out with her, I knew how long she took to put out, and I was pretty certain that said mate's birthday was likely to be D-Day.

In more ways than one.

For you see, in the preceeding weeks, I'd started up a rather malicious whispering campaign that, shall we say, raised questions as to 'Joe' and his sexuality. And of course, I'd cunningly steered these in the direction of 'Sarah' and her friends, and managed to do so in such a subtle way no-one had any idea I was behind the campaign.

Anyway, obviously the rumours got back to Joe, and so he was rather keen to prove that he was by no stretch of the imagination gay. We all went out for his birthday. I'd also remembered to bring with me the vital tools of the trade - a nice hipflask of finest Palenka (a Romanian spirit that packs quite a punch) and completely no sense of shame. Joe was being careful that night, trying not to drink too much. After all, you don't want brewer's droop when the girl's going to put out do you? Especially if she thinks you might be gay...

A little sprinkling of Palenka in that pint...some in that one....you get the idea. Joe goes home, not completely smashed, but certainly not in a fit state to raise the flag.

Net result? Ex-girlfriend dumps mate because she thinks he's gay (since technically he shouldn't have had that much to drink to have that effect), tells most people in sight, and said mate has to put up with everyone he knows thinking he's gay (and has to fend off unwelcome advances).

I'm still mates with him and he still doesn't know.
(DeusXM, Fri 14 May 2004, 17:13, Reply)