Crazy Cabbie
Earlier this year I was on a work sponsored pissup in Amsterdam, all good fun, but you get odd looks when you ask for a receipt froma lap dancing bar. Anyhoo, we checked out of the floating palace that is the Amstel Botel, and hailed a taxi to take is to schipol Airport. Our driver soon proved that he learn to drive through playing a mixture of Colin Macrea rally and Grand Theft Auto: he wasnt bothered which side of the road he was on, he just picked the one with the least traffic on it; bus and tram lines, one way streets, roadworks? all just opportunities for him to show off his utter bastard-driving skills. Once we got out of town he calmed down a bit, and stuck to a sedate speed on the motorway. He pointed out to us that these are speed cameras in every gantry, and they are all loaded. Anyone who went past us over the speed limit, he good naturedly tooted his horn at them and pointed at the cameras. However, a big angry fella went storming past in a BMW M3, and when our driver tooted at him, he flicked us the bird! Well, our would-be-rally driver was having none of this, and preceeded to pull out and chase the BMW, at 130, in the pissing rain, very very close to his bumper. I was pretty scared at this point, but it was nothing compared to the brown trousers moment I felt as our driver suddenly remembered what he was meant to be doing that day, and swerved accross 5 lanes of traffic, literally running a Polo off the road, so that he could make the last exit for the airport. His aggressive driving forced 2 minibuses to pull over on the slip road to the airport, and his comment? 'everyone is crazy today, they cant drive!'. And he was fucked off that we didnt give him a tip.

Length? Its been up and down like a Yo-Yo today.
(powermonkey poo is a weapon, monkeys use it, Sat 14 Oct 2006, 17:35, Reply)