Grrrrrrr
Yes, the roads are full of arsewipes.

* Cyclists: I am an occasional cyclist. I do stop at traffic lights, most of the time. If I go across a red light, I do it at a reasonably slow pace, as I would walking across a road. I have, however, been almost run over many times as a pedestrian, by cyclists who fly through red lights at top speed. Cunts. I might sneak through carefully, which might well annoy you if you're driving a car. Well, if you're jealous of my relative freedom to ignore the lights, you know where the bike shop is.

* Regarding cyclists pulling away early at junctions: It seems to annoy a lot of car drivers, when cyclists pull away on an amber. This is one reason why it's a good idea:

When you're riding a bike, at low speed, the bike is unstable. You wobble. There's not a lot that can be done about it. As far as I'm concerned I'd rather set off, wobbling, before you, thinking you're Nigel Fucking Mansell, try to outburn someone at the lights. Hopefully by the time you've let out the clutch I'm a bit further down the road doing a reasonable pace.

* Taxi drivers. Not the only culprits, but why can't you indicate?! Especially when turning left in front of people. In fact, general lack of indication is possibly my biggest irritation on the roads. It's just moving your finger about 2 inches, you thick twat.

* People who come up behind you when you're driving on the motorway, doing 70 in the middle lane. They're flashing their lights, doing their nut. Well, I let them get their blood pressure nice and high... OK, maybe I should move to the left hand lane. But there's a lorry about a mile ahead, and in about 40 seconds i'll be overtaking it. I think changing lanes every two minutes is more dangerous than staying where I am, especially since I am travelling at the speed limit. Anyone who thinks I'm in their way is speeding, and they can damn well find their own way past me. I'm not about to speed up for them, and hopefully they'll get points and a fine.

* Talking on their phone: Look, Talk or Drive. One or the other. There's no excuse.

* Pedestrians... Yeah, stepping out in front of you. Sometimes they're drunk, sometimes they just didn't look, and sometimes (particularly as a cyclist) they just want to play chicken. I'm a fast cyclist though by no means the speediest, but you're pretty stupid if you think a bike hitting you at 20 mph isn't going to hurt. Get the fuck out of my way.

* And while we're on the subject of pedestrians....

-- When the red man is showing, don't cross. I walk through central Manchester every day. Every day, some pedestrian nearly gets run over by a bus or a car and they put on this unbelieving, arrogant face. If you cross on the red man, someone will try to kill you with their vehicle. That's why the Red Man is there. You've been warned.

-- Let people off the bus before you get on. Yes, I will continue to tell you this every time you try it. Don't look outraged, surprised or indignant. It's YOU who are in the wrong.

-- Look where you're going. I walk fast. I know where I'm going. Don't stop in front of me. Look behind you to check you're not getting in my way before you veer randomly across the pavement. You'd probably do it if you were driving your car. But since you're a thick cunt, you'd probably not.

-- Don't stand in the middle of the pavement to talk. The Asian population seem to be the worst for this. There seems to be a culture in India or Pakistan or whereever the perpetrators of this irritating habit are from, where they are quite happy to congregate on the pavement right in everybody's way to have a nice chat. Don't. It's rude, at least in this country.

-- Don't stop suddenly just as you're about to get on an escalator. One of these days, I'm going to stab you.

I think I've vented enough spleen now.

Apologies for my only average length and girth, but I hope I knew how to use it.
(Christopsy, Tue 17 Oct 2006, 0:32, Reply)