Bikes and Dykes
One of the weirdest journeys I ever had was a day-long tour of lesbian pubs on a motorcycle.

On a morning which just happened to be the day after the very first time I'd taken Ecstacy (Yay! MASSIVE DRUGS!), there was an unexpected knock on my door. I was rather surprised to see my ex-girlfriend's gay sister standing there. We knew each other quite well, of course, but weren't really close friends. It was certainly unusual for her to come to my house.

She explained that she'd had a row with her girlfriend the day before, who had stormed off back to her home town. I was the only person she could think of with a vehicle, so could I give her a lift there so she could try to find her missing girlfriend?

Well, for some reason (ahem) I was in a very good mood that morning, and working on the basis that "It never hurts to have a lesbian owing you a favour", we hopped on my bike and set off.

Once we reached the town, she dropped a bit of a bombshell. Apparently, dyke culture is rather bitchy and cliquey (who'da thunk it?) so she didn't want to go into any of the pubs because she might "meet the wrong people". So we would drive from one pub to the next, all around the area, and I would have to go in, find a group of rug-munchers, and ask if they'd seen the girlfriend that day.

I'm sure you can imagine the reaction that a hairy bloke in bike leathers walking into lesbian pubs can get. That scene in "An American Werewolf In London" is very familiar: the music stopped, all eyes swivelled to me, backed by aggressive scowls, and the barman shaking his head in disbelief while reaching for the "argument settler" under the bar.

Thank god I was in a friendly and affable mood. The E afterglow was probably the only thing that prevented me from ending up being roughly castrated by a gang of enraged bull dykes, that day.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:49, 6 replies)

"It never hurts to have a lesbian owing you a favour"?
Can't you change lightbulbs, or something?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:53, closed)

I think it's sound advice.
A dyke in need is a dyke to lead.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:59, closed)

You can lead a dyke to water
...and they can breath through their ears.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:18, closed)

So.....
Did you find the missing gf?

We NEED to know.
(repooc, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 11:57, closed)

As it turned out
she was waiting at their flat when we gave up and came home.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:17, closed)

Maybe.....
She never left....eh, eh?
(repooc, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 15:11, closed)