coach class
i love going to spain, but i don't like flying. i'm not scared to fly, but it really disorientates me, which i don't like one bit. the only viable alternative in my case is to travel by coach.
between 29 and 34 hours on a coach jammed tight with other holidaymakers, including small children and crying babies, having to use a chemical toilet. sounds like hell, doesn't it?
it isn't. i love it. the holiday isn't just about the hotel and beaches for me, it's also about the journey. i've met many lovely people on coaches, some of whom i'm still in touch with.
when i was 17, i got an unexpected windfall of about £2k and, much to my parents' horror, buggered off to spain on my own for a fortnight. the journey was progressing normally, until we neared paris. now, the coaches usually take the ring road to avoid paris, as the traffic is abominable. however, we were 2 hours ahead of schedule and our driver "got lost". the upshot of this was a lovely detour to the eiffel tower, lit up like a christmas tree in the warm night sky. it was the first time i'd seen it up close and it was beautiful. we've never made that particular detour since.
nighttime on the coach is my favourite time. snuggled in my seat, the rest of the passengers sleeping quietly, watching the lights from small french towns and villages shining through the window as we pass by. there's something very serene about the whole thing.
some of my more memorable experiences have been:

sneaking a couple of joints onto the coach and getting stoned at the evening meal stop in montpelier, before trying to climb up a large ornamental rock wall.

meeting "big fred from birkenhead", who helpfully got my pillow down off the overhead rack for me, resulting in him being whanged on the bonce by a tupperware box full of chicken drumsticks, thus earning me the name "the flying chicken" for the entire holiday.

drinking a bottle of red wine on the ferry and vomming spectacularly all over the carpark at french passport control.

meeting a very dotty but utterly lovely old lady who was sat next to me and being supplied with pernod and lemon for most of the journey. our impromptu singsong was much better received than it probably should have been.

playing coach bingo and winning 3 bottles of wine and a striped blanket.

the worst thing i can think of was when i went to malgrat. i got really badly sunburned on the last day and spent the entire journey home lying flat on my stomach on the back seat of the coach, worried reps periodically coming to check on me. good job there were fewer passengers going than coming home, really.

i'm off again in about 6 weeks, on my own once more. i will most certainly be going by coach. despite the length of the journey, the occasional crying baby or noisy spoiled child, i wouldn't have it any other way.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 16 Jul 2011, 22:19, 2 replies)

I enjoyed that so...
...have a click!
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sun 17 Jul 2011, 15:57, closed)

ta!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 17 Jul 2011, 20:45, closed)