Driving home after work on Friday about 7 p.m., maybe September (the sun was close to setting) when the car quit. Oh well, call up the AAA for a tow to the garage, which is on the way home, just to drop the car there 'til it's seen to.

Then, on home. Technically, home is a house right on the same route as the original breakdown so getting lost is an impossibility and distance is the only factor to consider. Why not walk 15 miles, starting at 9 p.m. as dusk settles in? They do it in books without a blink.

First, grab the jacket: it might get chilly and there are all those pockets to load up with water bottles from the car. Start walking. Nah, this main highway has too much high-speed traffic -- noise alone recommends against it. One block away runs the parallel original Ridge Road, dating back to pre-Columbian times as following the top of a hundreds-of-miles-long ridge through the forest, much less travelled.

Early decision: don't stop for a drink in each bar passed, might develop into a problem. So, rely on carried water bottles alone. Did stop to observe a night-time baseball game played under brilliant lights in a field next to one bar, but a guy in a golf cart motored up and asked me to move along since spectators seemed to annoy the neighbors. Good idea anyway, keep moving.

Ridge Road, being hundreds of years old in its present form, is not unpopulated; except for where the topography is unsuitable for housing, there are are few long stretches of fields, woods or hillsides. And yet...

Now the evening was well along. Fewer and fewer houses were even lit. Funny enough, neither was the road for looong stretches. Attempts to read the infrequent road signs at intersections by the light of a Bic lighter were less than successful. But, stay on the road and home will appear.

There was some activity still at this hour, though. Occasional shouts and running and sometimes fellow pedestrians. No prob, especially when met oncoming or seen going away. But there's something about being followed on a dark road at dead of night.

Walk, walk, walk. Quiet and dark. Interesting to see how the old-timers would have navigated by the stars. The big W of Cassiopea, etc., etc.

Three a.m. rolled around, and so did I to my house (TWO mph on level terrain in good weather FFS!!!!). That was a couple of years ago, though, and in the meantime I've been carrying a Spyderco Warrior in my jacket and a Springfield XD-45 in a locked box in the car, which I wouldn't be leaving unattended at the garage, but pop in the shoulder holster which also rides in the car.
( Squilliam but . . . . *I'm* the one with all the talent!, Sun 17 Jul 2011, 15:23, 10 replies)

I miss being able to carry a proper knife.

Here in the UK if its not a swiss army knife, theyre fuckin illegal.
(tyrellsOwl, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 12:53, closed)

I like knives but,
if I'm honest, there's really no excuse for carrying one of those, unless you plan on murdering someone.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 20:55, closed)

Or some Thing
Be prepared for zombies
( Squilliam but . . . . *I'm* the one with all the talent!, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 21:20, closed)

If Resident Evil has taught me anything,
it's that a knife is useless in the event of an outbreak of the undead.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 21:54, closed)

I was forced to rethink my plans for dealing with zombies when, one morning at work
a co-worker pulled up next to me in the parking lot and began to inspect a hole punched in the roof of his car just forward of the hatchback. In all seriousness, he told the tale of the previous evening when a few blocks from the office on a side street he'd been approaching someone carrying a pick-axe and lurching like a zombie [his words] as he staggered down the street. As my co-worker passed the evidently unwell pedestrian, the pick-axe was rapidly swung and punched the aforesaid hole in the roof.

Anyone can imagine the questions that immediately came to mind and the answers were: No, my pal didn't stop, turn around, run the guy over, or contact the police. Just continued on his way home. End of incident.

Hmmmm. A straight-faced report of a zombie attack. Just the kind that gets ignored to everyone's ultimate regret. And yet, every word literally unbelievable. Then again, the first zombie reports always are. Hmmmm.

At that very moment, I considered myself well armed against zombies with a cricket bat that has Simon Pegg's picture on it lying right in the back seat of my car. But now, receiving evidence of real-world zombie behavior, I wasn't so sure. They sounded faster, and were armed. Hey, should you bring a cricket bat to a pick-axe fight?

Having plenty of toys lying around the house anyway (not knowing how to make animated GIFs, there's time to kill), it seemed like a threat that might as well be taken seriously -- after all, the incident had (supposedly) occurred only a few blocks from work.

Two days later, a newspaper report mentioned that police had been forced to taser an uncooperative man wielding a pick-axe a few hours later on the aforesaid night somewhere in that neighborhood. Well, okay.

But whether he was the same guy was never proven. So the car security upgrades stand.

Oh yeah, according to Wired magazine, this model knife should be useful for beheading, which would seem to be the preferred defense against the undead: www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010/01/high-tech-guns-digital-revolvers-koosh-bullets-and-triple-tasers/8/

Edit: add link
( Squilliam but . . . . *I'm* the one with all the talent!, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 23:57, closed)

This is the first genuine zombie report I've read on here,
and I'm pleased to see you taking it seriously.

I used to have a kukri, but I bent the blade after whacking it against a tree root (was using it to cut down cow parsley). It looked like it could take someone's head off, but it now I'm not so sure. I've got ready access to a wrecking bar, now (good enough for Freeman, good enough for me!), and a sledgehammer which, although heavy, certainly gives good reach.

Bring on the apocalypse!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 8:58, closed)

linky
but their print catalog is so much easier to browse

www.atlantacutlery.com/p-732-traditional-bhojpure-kukri.aspx

Frickin' pages of kukris, compare and contrast.
( Squilliam but . . . . *I'm* the one with all the talent!, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 4:32, closed)

Or just defending yourself...

Or cutting things. Any serious cutting work is hard to do with a knife that folds but doesnt lock. Ive had to cut tough things like thick rope with a swiss army knife and sometimes it folds back in on itself, hitting my fingers.

I always carry my SAK on me, for various reasons, but whenever I use the knife part I wish I had a proper one.

I guess in a violent third world country like the UK it doesnt work. But its fine in most other European countries.


Edit: Ive just had a look at the Warrior, and that seems excessive. I was thinking something like this one.
(tyrellsOwl, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 9:04, closed)

Not to get all spammy, but.... wavy lines
Way back in the waning days of the previous century, I happened to be in a sporting goods store looking at knives and found one that was sufficiently unusual-looking that I picked it up to see how it felt in my hand. Felt like nothing. Like not holding a knife at all. So I put it back.

Continuing to wander about the store, it dawned on me: hey, that's pretty cool; holding a knife that feels like it's not even there. So I went back and bought it -- a Spyderco Delica. Got it home and it turned out the fun was just beginning. For starters, Spydercos are SHARP, right out of the box. The funny-looking hole in the blade is where the user pushes against to manually open it, turns out to be quite ergonomic. Quality is unexcelled.

That was then, and the current design Delica 4 spyderco.com/catalog/details.php?product=209 has been gradually massaged over the years so as to make the original look quaint. But still for every day carry, it's the one for me. Cuts, slices, fits in the pocket, etc., etc.

Sure do hope it's legal for you in the UK. Maybe if the News Corp. scandal brings down the old style of government, the new guys will cut you some slack. With us in the US, it's been a constant struggle for citizens vs. the government for years now, with the National Rifle Association in the lead for the people. But the anti-everything faction tries harder all the time and any time now we may find ourselves having to toe the line drawn by the United Nations, whereby all law-abiding people will be disarmed. Thus the old truism: when arms are outlawed only outlaws will have arms. Witness the poor bastards in Egypt when the government collapsed into overnight anarchy a few months ago. People who were unable to leave the country and forced to stay complained on TV, "I wish we had some guns or something."

No kidding. I bet. It's an interesting exercise to consider just how tenuous the rule of law really is where one lives.

OTOH the Warrior does seem a trifle excessive. Until one holds it in the hand. MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm. Especially when one holds it in the recommended "reverse grip" (martial arts-related, of which I certainly don't know any, and anyone who does would easily pluck it from my fingertips). The curvy shape matches upward or downward swinging arcs of the human forearm in natural movement, for what that's worth. But, boy does it feel good. Hate to admit it, but it feels so good I bought another one just to have when the first gets lost. Also, the sheath that comes with it www.specopsbrand.com/tactical-gear/sheaths/combat-master-knife-sheath-short.html is the best sheath on earth, but it sucks due to the fact that it doesn't closely fit the knife, which rattles about inside it. $100 dollars later (each) www.rivercitysheaths.com/photo.htm and hey, presto! you have one that fits. The knife is in itself a thing of beauty, though, and fun to play with [cut wire insulation with].
( Squilliam but . . . . *I'm* the one with all the talent!, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 23:27, closed)

If it locks, it's illegal to carry (without Valid Reason™).

UK law says unless it is 1)Under 4", 2)Folding 3)Not locking it is illegal to carry without good reason.

I have a beautiful Smith&Wesson knife I used to carry (when I lived in the US), handle just big enough to get a solid grip, blade just long enough to be effective (still under 4" as I recall) but it locks. Therefore, illegal.

The Valid Reason™ is also pretty strict. It must be either "required to perform work duties" or "part of national/religious costume", and a few other rather specific situations.
(tyrellsOwl, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 12:32, closed)