If Resident Evil has taught me anything,
it's that a knife is useless in the event of an outbreak of the undead.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 21:54, 1 reply)

I was forced to rethink my plans for dealing with zombies when, one morning at work
a co-worker pulled up next to me in the parking lot and began to inspect a hole punched in the roof of his car just forward of the hatchback. In all seriousness, he told the tale of the previous evening when a few blocks from the office on a side street he'd been approaching someone carrying a pick-axe and lurching like a zombie [his words] as he staggered down the street. As my co-worker passed the evidently unwell pedestrian, the pick-axe was rapidly swung and punched the aforesaid hole in the roof.

Anyone can imagine the questions that immediately came to mind and the answers were: No, my pal didn't stop, turn around, run the guy over, or contact the police. Just continued on his way home. End of incident.

Hmmmm. A straight-faced report of a zombie attack. Just the kind that gets ignored to everyone's ultimate regret. And yet, every word literally unbelievable. Then again, the first zombie reports always are. Hmmmm.

At that very moment, I considered myself well armed against zombies with a cricket bat that has Simon Pegg's picture on it lying right in the back seat of my car. But now, receiving evidence of real-world zombie behavior, I wasn't so sure. They sounded faster, and were armed. Hey, should you bring a cricket bat to a pick-axe fight?

Having plenty of toys lying around the house anyway (not knowing how to make animated GIFs, there's time to kill), it seemed like a threat that might as well be taken seriously -- after all, the incident had (supposedly) occurred only a few blocks from work.

Two days later, a newspaper report mentioned that police had been forced to taser an uncooperative man wielding a pick-axe a few hours later on the aforesaid night somewhere in that neighborhood. Well, okay.

But whether he was the same guy was never proven. So the car security upgrades stand.

Oh yeah, according to Wired magazine, this model knife should be useful for beheading, which would seem to be the preferred defense against the undead: www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010/01/high-tech-guns-digital-revolvers-koosh-bullets-and-triple-tasers/8/

Edit: add link
( Squilliam but . . . . *I'm* the one with all the talent!, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 23:57, closed)

This is the first genuine zombie report I've read on here,
and I'm pleased to see you taking it seriously.

I used to have a kukri, but I bent the blade after whacking it against a tree root (was using it to cut down cow parsley). It looked like it could take someone's head off, but it now I'm not so sure. I've got ready access to a wrecking bar, now (good enough for Freeman, good enough for me!), and a sledgehammer which, although heavy, certainly gives good reach.

Bring on the apocalypse!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 8:58, closed)

linky
but their print catalog is so much easier to browse

www.atlantacutlery.com/p-732-traditional-bhojpure-kukri.aspx

Frickin' pages of kukris, compare and contrast.
( Squilliam but . . . . *I'm* the one with all the talent!, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 4:32, closed)