Oh go on then...

I was once in the Boat race with one of the members of Pop group ‘Bros’…

I can’t remember if it was Matt or Luke. Anyhoo, the year we participated in the race, apart from the usual ‘university pride’ at stake, they decided to ‘spice it up’ somewhat with some bizarre additional prizes. They were:

Some ‘works of art’ by the Princess Royal herself, crafted from what she found on the floor on the beach at Eastbourne, and modelled on her own ovums.

A couple of buddhist heavy goods vehicles that allegedly caused the driver to 'attain enlightenment'

A year’s supply of cattle calf meat.

In an effort to motivate the rowers during the race I decided to shout their names whilst also listing the prizes on offer. As we bollocked up the Thames I could regularly be heard yelling:

“Row Goss! Veal, Anne’s sand Eggs, Zen trucks”

*Dies inside*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 10:47, 5 replies)

All this recent dying inside
can't be good for your health.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 10:54, closed)

I know...

You'd think that people would notice the big 'Do not resuscitate' sign round his neck but the fuckers keep bringing him back.

Bloody do-gooders.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 10:56, closed)

Well played.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 10:54, closed)

Woff.
I don't think I could possibly come up with something that convoluted.

*doffs cap to the master*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 10:58, closed)

onvoluted untishly awful
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 11:00, closed)