Castle fecking Cary
This isn't really about the town, just about a night I spent in and around the train station there. But meh, I'll tell you anyway.

At about 1.30am, after a good drunken day/night at NASS festival, Daniel and I realised we didn't have camping tickets, and were swiftly deposited on the side of a country road, which was as dark, scary and endless as Satan's minge itself.

Our train (which left at 9am) was a mere few hours walk up this pitch black road, so we got going. After stumbling around for a while, we were picked up by a very nice lady (hello!) who gave us fleeces and dropped us at the station. The waiting room/toilets were shut. Arse.

We agreed to take it in turns to sleep/keep watch, and Dan promptly lay down on the ground and started snoring loudly. I curled in a ball, cracked open a can of cider and wept tears of vodka. Or maybe I just shivered a bit, it's all a bit of a blur.

***wavy lines***

A few hours later, I am rocking back and forth, full of wee. Dan is still snoring. I ring some local hotels, but everyone hates me and they don't pick up. It's about 4am, and still very dark. I kick Dan and tell him we're going to look for the public toilets I vaguely remember seeing on a tourist map. I'm not going to piss against a tree, I'm a fucking lady! So we get going.
About half an hour later we're in the town centre. I see a REALLY FAT cat. I NEED to stroke him, RIGHT NOW, and I run over. The cat starts making violent sex noises at me, and I realise it's a fat, grumpy old badger who wants my precious fingers for his breakfast. I run away.
About 2 hours of wandering through a boring English town later we find the toilets. They are locked. Arse.

I piss against a tree.

We make our way back to the station. The next morning I am sick on a posh business man's shoes. Sorry mister.
(reducedfatLOLcat, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 23:50, 1 reply)

clicked for the phrases:
'Satan's minge', 'tears of vodka' and 'full of wee'.

You are an excellent human being.
( Droog is too orangey for crows, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 11:56, closed)