Andover- A lament
I've ummed and ahh'd about posting this.

Andover is not by the standards of some of the places mentioned here, a really crap town. It is however not the sort of place that has people flocking from the wider world to come and see it. Furthermore, it can be a downright depressing place to find yourself. When you stop to consider that Andover has such a lot in its favour, you start to wonder how on earth it is like it is.

Firstly; Location. Placed near the Hampshire, Wiltshire border, the countryside is not spectacular but it is consistently pretty. It hasn't been strip mined or used (Salisbury Plain aside) for bombing practice. Despite this Andover is entirely free of architectural distinction. The Luftwaffe dropped no bombs on it and neither has it been ravagd by fire yet it is simply a giant wall painted magnolia. I cannot remember a single truly distinctive building even though I lived there for ten years. Of course, Andover did have an early run in with lunatic town planners. Until the 1870's it had the largest surviving Saxon church anywhere. The town planners decided however that this jewel was a little small and "unsafe." Indeed it proved so unsafe that only four tons of blasting powder were required to demolish it. The replacement Victorian pile does however blend in nicely as it is totally undistinguished.

Secondly, Andover has low unemployment. I mean really low. Some years ago, it actually technically hit zero. Temps were a desirable asset. These gainfully employed masses should be happy and infused with civic pride? Err no. Nights out are still a sort of running street battle with miniskirts. The pub density is very, very high which by a law of averages would suggest that at least one or two might be quiet and friendly but they are in fact all boxing rings with beer taps. Laughably modified cars scrape their fibreglass add ons over the traffic calming as they drive the same circuit over and over again. this always had been blamed on the presence of an Army base on the outskirts which rather ignored the fact that the occupants of said base were almost exclusively older, married staff officers leading their desks to greater glory- not exactly the "tear the town a new arsehole" fraternity.

Thirdly, the ways to escape. Andover is an hour from London by train. Southampton, Winchester and Salisbury- all larger and more interesting- are close at hand. Despite this, Andover retains its victims. Bright, well educated people sit folornly bemoaning their fate as if the roads were plagued by biker gangs and the trains eaten by trolls. I believe the place sapps the will to live.

So there you have it. Andover is surrounded by beauty, suffers little or no deprivation and is a cinch to leave. And yet it is still a toilet. Still I have since moved of my own free will to Miton Keynes so maybe it got to me too.

Length? 1989-1999.
(Leonard Hatred briefly did some work on, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:24, 3 replies)

There may be a connection
OR have all the really shit towns had old aircraft named after them?
(SBCkittencure, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:33, closed)

I quite like Andover
I had my first experience of a strip club there and have played several highly enjoyable gigs at the George. Most recently, we were invited to stay at the house of a friend of some people who'd attended for a small party and then somewhere to crash. Said friend was bizarrely not in attendance, but we were told he'd be back later in the night and would probably be grumpy.

Are you sure it's cool to stay?
Oh yeah, it'll probably be fine.

We arrived at the house to find the single largest collection of wickedly sharp knives I've ever seen. We made our excuses and bade a hasty exit.

Ahh, Andover.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 21:59, closed)

Beige
Andover is up and coming, it featured on The One Show.
( Weejock, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:57, closed)