Nostril
Having just watched Superman Returns, me and some friends were discussing the possibility of Superman and Lois Lane really conceiving a child together. The debate got quite ugly, and I ended up naked. I argued against the possibility on grounds of genetic incompatibility rather than the "Lois couldn't withstand the ejaculatory impact" approach. I used the analogy that, just because a man has intercourse with a horse, it doesn't mean the horse will give birth to a man-pony. This fuelled the debate further, and before long I decided to leave for my own safety.

I was walking through the city centre, the moon smiling down on me, the cool summer night's breeze kissing my elbows, the day's cumulative warmth radiating upwards from the concrete and onto my underchin, when I heard a voice from down an alleyway.
"I say, over there!" came the voice. It was not the voice of a child, but rather that of a squeaky adult. I peered through the darkness. Nothing. I walked on a couple of steps.
"What ho!" came the voice again, agitated now. The voice had become shaky beneath it's own density, making me stop again. I daren't move any further.
"Hello?" I called back, but the only reply was my own echo. "Is somebody there?" I expected some countrified dandy to stagger out and offer me a swig from his bottle of port. Instead, there was a huge explosion, and a dark figure was propelled out of the alley, knocking me to the ground before landing on its feet and towering over me. There before me was the very creature that I had only moments earlier denied: a man-pony. But this man-pony was fully grown, and more of a man-stallion, or Stally-man, as he would later introduce himself as while I wept.

The fearsome yet well turned out beast treated me to a beautiful few bars on its clarinet, the likes of which made me retch with shame, before setting the instrument down on the warm concrete floor and straddling me. The saliva was warm and matted my chest hairs together.

We stayed there for hours, then Stally-man simply disappeared into the night. When I came to my senses, I found that one of my nostrils had gone, presumably taken by that great nasal thief of the night, Stally-man.

I couldn't return home after that, and fled through the city, where I now reside in the shadows.
(stusut79, Fri 11 Aug 2006, 16:34, Reply)