cozy
i awoke one morning because my bedroom was bloody cold..relly bloody freezing. i slowly realised that i had been drinking (etc) heavily the night before on a works night out and i was actually lying on the very cold tiles in my very dark bathroom. i slowly realised that i didn't have very cold tiles in my bathroom. i had lino. i slowly realised that my bathroom was considerably larger than the room i was in. had i been abducted? i reached out and i could touch all 4 walls...and a toilet pan. hmmm? it was pitch black in there. i shakily arose and began searching for a door handle, there must be a door in this prison! i found a handle YA BEAUTY it opend and i was blinded by very unbright night light things which slowly faded to reveal...sinks. 4 sinks. and ...urinals! yes i was in a pubs bogs. it was 4 am. now under most circumstances this would be good..free bevvy! unfortunately i recognised this pub as the fancy one i worked in. and i knew it had motion censors all over the shop. i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrors. my lovely work shirt was soaked with spew. on closer inspection the spew on me matched the spew that was ALL OVER the cubicle i had just exited. i deduced from this that i had infact been sick. a lot. now i knew where the fire exit was in this place well and went over my escape plan, but would i make it down (ashton) lane and up the road without being lifted. i doubted it. no mobiles in thesse days so i did what any self respecting drunk would do and lay on the sinks and went back to sleep. when i heard the cleaners coming in i left the toilets and the cleaners totally FREAKED OUT. you see the pub down the road (oblimov)had been robbed the previous week by..yes...people hiding in the bogs! magic! any way i explained myself and begged then not to grass me up and true to their word they never. they told the chefs who for a laugh did. the manager said if i appologised to the boss i could stay. i never. i was sacked.
(noisy_fridge, Wed 1 Mar 2006, 11:42, Reply)