Not Funny Warning....... NOW!
I had a mate called Barry a few years back who went thru the coppers academy and upon passing with honours chose to return to his small, country hometown to join the local station. At that time they made cops (& teachers) do a compulsory 2 year stint in the country after getting their degrees/qualifications. One of the reasons I haven't finished my BEd. (aside from being bone-idle lazy).

Anyhoo Barry returns home and spends the next couple of years telling the local pot-heads to tie their plants down so you couldn't see them over the fence, making sure the local perv, Larry was tucked into bed nice and early each night and wasn't ever trying to drive the school bus. Barry also spent many a Fri. & Sat. night making sure that the old farts at the pub hadn't had 1 too many and weren't going to wrap themselves around one of the widow-maker Ghost Gums on the drive home.

Barry managed to find time to catch the eye of one of the local lasses, Sharon. She was a pretty young thing who rooted like the cam on an old Southern Cross in a cyclone! She lived a couple of kays out of town with her mum and dad - Garry & Mary and her older brother Darren. Barry and Darren were coached on the local footy team (The Drongos) by Garry. Barry & Sharon had even reached the point of "Wanna become the ball & chain, darlin'?". Barry was going to have a chinwag with Garry after the end of the footy season about it.

It was the Sat. night after the Grand Final where the Drongos had successfully defeated the neighbouring towns' team - The Bunyips in a close game.
Barry had met Darren and Garry at the pub a couple of hours after the game. He got a few in but since he was on early the next day he didn't want to stagger home. Garry and Darren and the rest of the town had other ideas altogether. The landlord called an open bar after 2230 just for the regulars who had played that arvo & their supporters.
Barry had noticed that Darren and Garry had knocked quite a few back and were a little the worse for wear. He suggested that he drive them home. Darren came back with "Nah, fuck off mate you just want an excuse to root Sharon. I'm right." Barry didn't want to argue with Darren and at this stage of their relationship and that night he didn't want to pull the "I'm a copper" card.
When Barry went to the loo to siphon the python both Garry and Darren realised that their mate/soon-to-be-son/brother-in-law wasn't going to let them off the hook so easily so they decided to get on the toe and hit the frog and toad.
They poured out of the pub and clumsily clambered into Garry's old Rollux ute. & off they went at a merry pace. A couple of hundred yards down the track they came across Larry on 1 of his nightly sojourns to have a gander thru some open windows. Darren chucked on the skids. But to no avail - the Toyota with it's infamously high centre of gravity immediately rolled instantly killing Larry, Darren and Garry.
Barry heard the commotion as he emerged from the dunnies and ran outside to find the carnage. The whole pub emptied quicker than a tourists bowels when they've got the Bali Trots.

So there it was - Baz had to drive out to the farm to tell Shaz and Maz that Daz and Gaz had been killed trying to avoid Laz.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 5:39, 10 replies)

Well, you were right about the 'not funny' bit...

( ousgg is not seeking approval, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 6:58, closed)

"Comedy website lols."
As Barry described it - "Sucks; doughnut".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 7:20, closed)

You don't need that disclaimer.
It's got your name at the end. HTH.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 8:35, closed)

Wow.
You logged out & then back in again for that?
& then I logged out and then back in again to do this. In response to that?

xxx
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 9:07, closed)

I haven't logged in or out of anything
on account of not being a fucking moron.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 17:44, closed)

Oooooh...
l33t h4x0r skillz.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 20:09, closed)

No. I'm just not a fucking moron.
This would probably be easier for you to grasp if you weren't a fucking moron. You fucking moron.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 22:00, closed)

So.
What you're saying is that you think that I'm a fucking moron.
Is that correct?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 12 Jan 2013, 11:03, closed)

k'in oath!!

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 9:19, closed)

Nah mate.
He wasn't there.
Strewth!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 10:53, closed)