Nice bit of beefsteak anyone?
There was this motorbike I was riding ... many years ago
going to meet some mates for a party ... braking a wee bit harder than I should have been to turn right at a t junction ... I can still see it now ... the front forks were compressed with the braking, the bars turned slightly in .. all was well .... and then I saw it ! .. the nemisis of all bikers (apart from spilled diesel on roundabouts) in the road ... right in the path of my front wheel a crushed totaly flat coke can !!!11. The front wheel went over the compressed aluminium skid pan and went away from me .... thankfully I was only doing about 20 mph .... .. the bike went down like a twisty turny nasty thing ... me and the bike bounced down the road, miraculously missing each other at each bounce and I ended up sliding up the road .. on my front ( hint ... if you spend a lot of money on a good leather jacket as I did, you need to zip it up rather than leave it open to look cool!). So .. I did 20 yards on my front ... jacket unzipped .. hit a wall .. ricoched back into the road. Bad

I woke up ... only a few seconds must have gone by ... the bike was just a few feet away from me ... the engine still running , just ticking over, the back wheel still spinning .... the thing I remember most is that I was in a heap in the middle of the road, the bike close by, and there was a string of traffic behind me ... all delicately driving around me, then the bike .. and fucking off as fast as they could !

After a couple of minutes ... one car stopped ... a women wound her window down and nervously said " are you alright" ... to which I replied in my post crash trauma state "ummm .. I think so" .... before I even got to the first letter of So ... she was gone ...accerlerating hard. Bitch .. well .. at least she stopped to ask.

I eventually picked mysel and the bike up ... it was fucked, but sort of ridable ... so I went on to the pub. Walked in through the door and said " hey you never guess what I did".

The look of sheer horror on the faces of everyone in the pub will live with me yto my dying day !!!

In my post crash adrenaline rush ... I had not felt the pain .. or looked down at my front torso !

where I had slid down the road (leather jacket undone) I had turned my chest into what can best be described as a mixture of shredded T shirt, tarmac, gravel and moleste quantities of blood, A classic gravel rash.

I kinda keeled over at this point ... don't remeber much after apart from waking up in the hospital with a rather nice nurse telling me that they had managed to save my nipples.

And to this day ... my nipples are pink, pert and thourougly loved, albeit surrounded by a nice big gravel rash scar (somewhat faded now years after the event) !
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Fri 4 Feb 2005, 13:11, Reply)